


Of Christmas's Past

by FujoshiFury92



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bullying, Choking, Cutting, Defeat, Desperation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hope vs. Despair, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mermaids, Sad with a Happy Ending, Teacher-Student Relationship, Violation, Whipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-25 06:56:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 32,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujoshiFury92/pseuds/FujoshiFury92
Summary: Harry suffers at the hand's of his Uncle in the most intimately violent way, he thinks his life is over until he is rescued by an unlikely hero.Now Harry gets to experience Christmas with Severus Snape





	1. The Darkness is Strong but you are Stronger

 

Harry bit down as he tried to hold back the sobs. He prayed that his uncle wouldn’t come back but he knew better as he tried to turn over onto his side. His naked body was littered with cuts, bruises and lashings. He cringed as he felt what was either blood or semen or possibly both run down his thigh and onto the bare mattress.

He hated coming back here but he had nowhere else to go. He closed his eyes as he heard the voices of joyous Christmas carollers get steadily closer.

Ironic…

He tried to force his mind elsewhere… His body was stuck here but his mind didn’t have to be… He allowed thoughts of Ron and Hermione in, thoughts of the previous year in, Quidditch, Hedwig and Hagrid. A smile began to faintly appear on the boy’s lips, not that anyone was there to see it but that didn’t matter.

The sound of footsteps in the hallway grew louder, thrusting Harry back into his current reality. Instant panic gripped at Harry’s heart. His breaths grew shallower as the footsteps ceased in front of the boy’s door. The sound of the key being inserted into the lock pierced the Harry’s ears and his heart.

The door clicked open.

_No…_

_Here we go again…_

Harry pushed his head into his arms as his body braced for another assault.

 

“My dear Severus, I might ask a favour of you” Dumbledore looked at the man standing in front of his desk.

“Might you go and check on Harry for me”

“Why is it you want me to do it?” Snape questioned the wizard’s motives, unsure why Dumbledore couldn’t go himself

“I would go myself but I have important business with the ministry that simply can’t wait.”

The older wizard refused to take his eyes off Snape

“Please Severus, I have… Shall we say… A feeling he might be in a bit of a pinch”

“Why” the words slipped slowly out of Snape’s mouth

Dumbledore stood from his chair and turned to face Fawkes

“I’m not sure what you’ll find Severus… But do be careful”

Snape didn’t feel like he had a say in this but knew when he’d been dismissed.

 

Harry sunk his teeth into his arm, a futile attempt to divert his attention from other sources of pain…

“Now boy” Vernon held the whip in his hand before tearing it against Harry’s torn flesh. “I have been kind enough to give you the food that falls off our table and Dudley’s second bedroom”

Harry saw the whip land in the corner of the room as the large man climbed on to the bed before straddling the wizard. Harry cringed as he felt a hardness poking at his opening

“And what have you given me back?”

“Argh!” Harry tried not to scream but failed miserably as he felt Vernon force his way inside his body

“Nothing” he hissed viciously before pushing his way in and out of the wizard. The sharp pain subsided to a dull ache as tears slid from Harry’s eyes. He refused to let his uncle see how much he was hurting him.

“What would your freaky little friends think if they saw now aye?” Vernon pulled out, only to flip Harry over and force his way back inside. He reached forward before grasping his fat fingers around Harry’s neck, cutting of the boy’s air supply. Harry instinctively raised his hands up to his Uncles, trying to pry them free as his desperate lungs cried out for oxygen.

Harry bit down as he felt the man continue to pound inside of him, half of the wizard prayed someone would save him, the other half wished his uncle would just finish him.

“They wouldn’t want to be friends with you, they would be disgusted by you” he continued tightening his grip as Harry felt his arse fill with the man’s seed.

Who was he kidding… Who would come to save him…  

Harry’s vision began to dim and his surroundings started fading from view

_This is it…_

Half of him was terrified

The other relieved as he began to accept his fate at the hands of this awful man

“You will join your freaky parent’s soon boy!”

A bolt of light flashed across the room before the grip around his throat loosened and the weight on top of him was pulled off.

Harry fell off the bed onto the floor, coughing and gasping desperately for air as it began to slowly fill his lungs

Harry blinked repeatedly, trying to figure out what just happened and if it’s what he thought it was, was it actually for real or just another hopeless fantasy.

The boy’s vision slowly coming into focus as he looked up, expecting to see Hagrid or Hermione or Ron or even Dumbledore…

His eyes met with Severus Snape…

He wasn’t prepared for this… But he just saved him… Why…

Snape looked shocked to say the least, unable to summon words as he looked down at Harry’s body strewn naked on the floor before offering him his hand.

“Th-thank you” Harry grasped the hand

An instant later they were back at Hogwarts, the room was unfamiliar to Harry as he took in the decor

“Wh-where exactly are we?”

“My quarters” Snape replied bluntly, not taking his eyes off the cuts and bruises plastered over the boy’s body.

Harry suddenly remembered he had nothing on as he instinctively tried to cover himself. An instant later he felt a blanket around him.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before Potter” he glanced at him once more “don’t feel ashamed” the words leaving his lips were slow and precise

“Th-thanks” he whispered, his throat was hoarse  

“Dumbledore is away on important business and Madame Pomfrey is away for Christmas so I guess it’s up to me” Snape stated slowly before turning toward the myriad of potion bottles littering the bench nearby.

“Why…” Harry began before his voice choked back, feeling unable to ask the rest of the question but wanting desperately it’s answer

“Dumbledore sent me” Snape replied, already knowing what the boy was going to ask as he fossicked through the jars.

“He had a feeling you were in a bit of a predicament…” the professor stopped to look at him “and he was right”

Snape stepped towards the younger wizard

“Drink this, it will help with the pain” the professor’s gaze was met by the boy’s

Harry tried to figure out what it was he was seeing in Snapes eyes… Was it… A hint of sorrow?

“I’m sorry you had to experience that Potter” his voice sounding surprisingly empathetic

“And don’t worry, you will not be going back there, you get to spend Christmas with me instead”

“Aren’t you lucky” A faint smile hinted on the professor’s lips


	2. Still Waters Run Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape looks after Harry as best he knows how...

“Come, this way” Snape stated plainly to Harry before heading towards another room.

“What for?” Harry’s voice hardly escaping his throat as he watched the professor halt.

“Might I suggest a bath” Snape’s head turned slightly to meet the boy’s eyes.

“Right” Harry nodded, realizing that was of course the next logical step.

He climbed to his feet before stepping toward the professor, only to feel his legs give way under him. The boy cringed as he felt his body slam against the cold stone floor.

He didn’t want to get up… This was too humiliating…

He felt warm arms wrap around his bare skin, before feeling his body being pulled upwards. Harry winced as he felt more cum ooze from his arse, making its way down his thigh.

“I’ve got you Potter” Snape murmured as the realisation that he was probably going to have to bathe this boy dawned on him.

“It’s not far through here” the professor led Harry into a surprisingly large room, a bath that rivalled the prefect’s bathroom met his gaze

Harry felt himself subconsciously leaning into Snape, feeling abnormally safe in his presence, which surprised him. He never thought in a thousand years that this would happen.

Harry carefully stepped into the warm water, the professor’s strong arms refusing to leave him as he aided the boy into the water.  

The warmth felt amazing against his flesh as his body descended into the bath. He felt Snape pass some items to him, soap, lufer sponge, shampoo before accepting them graciously.

Harry closed his eyes, loosing himself in the warm water as all his worries began to evade his mind.

“I’ll be in the next room should you need anything” Snape advised before disappearing, his footsteps fading into the distance as he left the room.

Harry nodded to himself before closing his eyes. He still wasn’t sure if any of this had actually happened… Afraid to get too comfortable for fear of waking up.

The raven haired boy picked up the lufer sponge before grinding the soap against it. He began to rub the sponge into his skin, wincing as the soap suds seeped into his torn flesh. Harry wanted nothing more than to be rid of the scourge his uncle had imprinted on his body… his mind… his soul…

He knew his body would heal but as for the other two… Who knows…

The boy persevered, trying his best to ignore the stinging before pushing the sponge to the side. He was starting to feel better as Snape re-entered the bathroom, holding a stack of clothing.

“These are for you to wear” he stated before leaving the items on a nearby cabinet. “You will also require this” the professor held up a towel, gently placing it next to Harry on the ledge of the bath.

“Thank you” Harry murmured, suddenly feeling like he was a nuisance.

Why was Snape being so nice to him?

He thought Snape hated him…

He must just feel sorry for him…

Harry sighed as he began to wash his hair, trying to keep his thoughts in the present as he poured a glob of shampoo into the palm of his hand. He closed his eyes before rubbing it into his hair, wondering what Snape was up to as he heard footsteps fading in the distance.

Harry rinsed his hair out, his eyes falling onto a scar marring his thigh. He tried to resist but his thoughts were drawn back to when it got torn onto his flesh forever.

_“Now boy, if you don’t do as I say, I will hurt you. Do you understand?” Vernon threatened, a knife in his hand as he held it to the boy’s penis._

_“Yes, Uncle Vernon” Harry whispered meekly, trying not to let his fear show through his voice._

_“Good. Because you know what will happen to you if you don’t now, don’t you?” The man taunted, moving the knife around slowly until it rested on his thigh._

_Harry nodded, a stinging sensation developing on his thigh as the blade drew into it._

_“Now bend over” the man ordered._

_Harry complied, crawling onto his hands and knees in front of his uncle._

_“Now spread your legs boy!” he demanded before ramming his cock into the opening before him._

_Harry cried out as he felt his body tearing, blood trailing down his thigh with every thrust._

_Harry closed his eyes, just praying for this to end._

_Vernon was still holding the knife to the boy’s thigh, slicing it every time he drove into the boy’s body._

_He felt the man ejaculate inside him before pulling out, standing up and walking towards the door._

_Harry watched him as his picked the boy’s shirt up off the floor, before using it to wipe the blood off his dick._

A sharp knock tore Harry’s thoughts back to the present, he gasped, feeling like he’d just been in another world.

“Lucius” he heard Snape mutter from afar. “What are you doing here?” the professor continued, not moving away from the door.

“I wished to speak to you about a private matter Severus” the blonde haired man began before pushing his way past the professor and into his chambers.

“Now isn’t the best time” Snape enunciated as he watched Lucius look around the room, his eyes dancing with criticism and condescension.

“What? You haven’t got time for your only friend Severus” the man smirked before looking down on a chair, pulling a face before ultimately deciding not to sit down on it.

“Draco doesn’t like certain boy in his year, and I think you know who I’m talking about Severus” Lucius began.

“If that is all you’ve come to tell me-” Snape began before being cut off.

“You see Severus, it’s in your best interests to do as I am about to say”

“Is that a threat Mr Malfoy?” Snape stated, accentuating his drawl.

“That’s up to you” Lucius smiled, slightly menacingly.

Harry heard footsteps approach the bathroom, followed by a secondary set. He instinctively sunk down in the bath before seeing Snape in the door way, reaching for the door before closing it.

Harry could hear their muffled voices but couldn’t decipher the words…


	3. Stand by Me

Harry squinted as he diverted all his energy to concentrating on the words being spoken beyond the door. He knew they were talking about him but it seemed Lucius was up to his old tricks, no surprises there but Snape… He didn’t seem to want a bar of it…

Maybe it was just because Harry was there? But then…  

He was seeing a different side to Snape, perhaps he had judged the man too prematurely, not to mention harshly. Or perhaps Snape viewed him differently after finding him in this condition, perhaps it altered his perception and preconceived ideas about him. He knew the potions professor despised his father and most likely presumed he would be the same as him, they were after all related. But in the end, everyone has different experiences in their lives that mould who they are and influence their personalities he guessed.

“Your threats mean nothing to me Malfoy” Snape bit back, his tone increasing, along with his frustration.

“That’s unfortunate for you Severus, then again, you don’t exactly have a lot, do you?” Lucius let out a chuckle, not making any effort to hide the malice behind it as he glanced around the room.

Snape bit down, refusing to let the man know just how much he was getting to him.

“Then again…” Lucius began before leaning in closer to the dark-haired wizard.

“I could give you so much more” he whispered, a mischievous smile dancing on his lips as he gazed into the man’s eyes.

The potions professor squinted, he was sure Lucius was alluding to something more than just material goods.

“I have all I need” Snape muttered before turning away from the man.

He wished the blonde-haired wizard would just go. He needed to make sure Harry was alright, he didn’t need this man trying to coax him into some ridiculous scheme of his that he knew would benefit only him.

“Now now Severus, you don’t mean that” Lucius chuckled before sliding a hand around the potion’s professor’s waist.

Snape’s eyes widened in disbelief at the audacity of the man’s actions.

“Just what are you doing?” he accused the older wizard as he swiftly pulled away from him.

“It’s just like old times” Lucius chuckled, trying to justify his actions as he again stepped towards the dark-haired wizard.

“The ‘old times’ are simply in your head” Snape spat out, not bothering to control his frustration as he stepped toward Lucius, the anger raging in his eyes.

“Your very worked up for someone who ‘has everything he needs’” a smug smile plastered across his lips as he approached the man before sliding a hand under Snape’s chin, drawing his face upwards to meet his glare.

“You must leave at once” Snape stated plainly as he slapped the man’s hand from his chin.

“I will leave when I decide to go” Lucius bit back as he headed toward the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Snape barked at the man as he grew dangerously close to the door concealing Harry.

“Why using your bathroom of course” an almost knowing smile dancing on his lips as he reached out to turn the lock.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Harry began to panic as his eyes darted around the room, searching desperately for an exit.

None.

He felt his heart pound as he figured the only way was to conceal himself was to hide under the water.

He had to do it…

There was simply no other option.

The turning of the knob prompted the boy to slide under the surface, praying the man wouldn’t take long.

“Get out of there!” Snape yelled at the man as panic filled his heart. He dreaded to think what would happen if Lucius found Harry, the number one enemy of the dark lord, in his chambers.

“Why? Must you be so inhumane Severus”. Lucius chuckled as he stepped into the bathroom, swiftly closing the door behind him.

Harry closed his eyes, its not like he could see much above the water anyway, plus it might help him hold his breath a bit longer.

Lucius certainly took his time as Harry listened carefully to every noise, trying to figure out exactly what the man was doing.

He had to know.

He had to figure out if he could hold his breath long enough.

Harry cringed as he heard what he was sure was a door slamming open before Snape’s voice filled the room, very loud, very clear.

“Just what are you doing?” Snape sneered at the man.

“What do you think?” the blonde-haired wizard stated innocently, as a smile that said otherwise grew on his lips.

“It doesn’t take that long Lucius, what is this really about?” Snape bit at the older wizard before glancing at the bath, relief washed over him as he realised Harry was hiding under the surface.

He had to get Lucius out of there if Harry stood any chance.   


	4. Never Enough

“Well?” Snape raised an eyebrow at the blonde wizard before him as he waited expectantly for an answer.

Lucius’s smug smile stained his lips as he store down the man before him, refusing to open his mouth.

Silence filled the room in the seconds that followed as Snape awaited an answer.

This was taking too long.

“Come with me” Snape commanded before turning for the door.

“You see, I’d much rather stay here” Lucius stated, showing the potions professor that he had no intention to move.

Snape wondered… Why was he so adamant to stay in the bathroom… Did he know Harry was in there? Perhaps has he hoping catch him out on something else? But what?

“I must insist Lucius” his usual drawl slipping from his lips as he refused to break eye contact with the man.

“Why” the blonde-haired wizard stepped toward Snape, his eyes narrowing on the man in the process.

That’s it. He definitely knew something was amiss…

This simply wasn’t working.

The potions professor eyed up the edge of the bath in front of Harry before choosing to sit there.

He had to be discreet if he had any chance of pulling this off…

“Who socialises in the bathroom for hours?” Snape stated plainly as he made a subtle attempt to withdraw his wand from his cloak.

“We’ve hardly been here hours” Lucius took pride in correcting the younger wizard as he continued to stare down at him.

Subtlety was the key to success as Snape aimed his wand at what he prayed was Harry before mumbling a spell he’d only used a handful of times.

“What was that?” Lucius asked, raising his eyebrows before leaning in towards the professor.

 

XOXOXO

 

Harry was close to giving up as the last of the oxygen vacated his lungs.

He couldn’t give up.

For whatever reason, Snape didn’t want his presence in the man’s chambers known to Draco’s father. Then again, the more he thought about it, the more he realised why.  

He had to hold on. He simply had to.

Harry’s eyes widened as a small ripple formed on the surface of the water.

What was that?

The young wizard peered closer before watching as a small bolt of light slipped through the ripples before aiming straight for him.

His eyes widened as the light loomed towards him.

Should he try to get away from it? Who was he kidding, it was far too late for that.

Harry closed his eyes and bit down as he braced for the contact.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Snape cringed, not listening to a word slipping from Lucius’s mouth as he hoped with all his heart that the spell had reached Harry and had begun to take effect.

He listened carefully for any movement on the water, anything to confirm if he still had cause to worry.

“I don’t know what’s with you today” Lucius began, still boring holes into the professor’s eyes as he refused to look away.

“You are usually more…” the blonde wizard began before glancing around the room, as if trying to conjure the correct word.

“Co-operative, shall we say”

Snape ignored the man before him, maybe if he did it long enough the man would get bored and go.

…

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry felt the struggle leaving him, he figured this must be it, this must be his body giving in to the water around him.

He opened his eyes, if for no other reason than to view this underwater world one last time.

Wait…

Curiosity got the best of Harry as he realised something…

This isn’t what drowning felt like…

Why was he still so alert but the struggle for oxygen was no longer upon him?

The young wizard cringed as suppressed memories began to surface. Memories he would much rather forget…

This wasn’t the first time he had been this close to drowning. He tried to calm his nerves as memories of his uncle holding his head under the bath water forced their way into his mind.

No. No No.

Harry tried his best to ignore the memories but it was no use. He wished he could just forget everything, wipe his horrendous childhood from his brain and never look back.

But he simply couldn’t.

He had to focus on the present and figure out what was going on with his body. How was he still alive and breathing normally under water?

Harry glanced down at his body, his eyes widened before his mouth dropped open.

Was that a…

Tail?

Does that mean he’s now a…?

Mermaid?

It must have been Snape…

That flash of light…

It simply must have been him.

But why did he care so much about saving him?

At least enough to risk being caught by Draco’s father?

It was a big risk, he wasn’t going to deny that.

But perhaps he was just ultimately protecting himself?

But it didn’t seem like that…

Snape was more… Genuine than that… More sincere in his actions…

Either way, this was now the second time in a matter of hours that he had saved his young life and he silently thanked the man for it.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Oh, how Snape desperately wanted to turn around and check the boy was okay.

Why was he suddenly so concerned about him? He used to despise him, or rather his father.

Perhaps he felt sorry for him…

But…

It seemed more than that…

It was like he could relate to him, empathize with him, be almost one with him.

How he had misjudged the young wizard.

Perhaps he had more in common with him than he ever could have thought.


	5. Redemption

“Clearly you are not enjoying my company so perhaps you should leave” Snape raised an eyebrow at the blonde wizard, encouraging him to heed his words.

Lucius looked down at the man before pacing past him, not taking his eyes off the younger wizard.

“Perhaps I will”

Snape watched carefully as the blonde wizard stepped slowly for the door, his eyes never once leaving the man as he watched him disappear into the lounge before hearing the front door slam shut.

Oh, thank god!

Snape immediately got up, striding for the door as his eyes desperately searched the room, wanting to make sure the man had indeed left.

Nothing.

Perfect.

The potions professor swiftly turned the key within the lock, praying the man on the other side hadn’t heard the loud clunk as it emanated through his chambers.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry smiled at the silence greeting his ears. Perhaps Snape had done it…? Had he managed to rid his chambers of the dreaded Lucius Malfoy?

He did wonder as he heard footsteps grow louder and louder but he didn’t feel anxious at all. Instead a wave of relief washed over him.

The smile slipped from his lips as he felt a hand grasp his arm before yanking him toward the surface of the water.

“Are you alright Harry?” Snape’s concerned voice bounded into his ears.

The young wizard opened his eyes, beholding the worry riddled through Snape’s expression.

Harry’s heart sank, he suddenly felt bad about causing the man so much trouble.

“I’m sorry” the words left Harry’s lips before he had a chance to think about them, his eyes darting towards the ground as guilt swelled in his heart.

“Don’t be stupid Potter” A slight smile forming on the older man’s lips as he tried to snap the boy from his reverie.

“But”

“No buts” Snape stopped him in his tracks before offering him a comforting squeeze.

Harry looked up to the man, another question suddenly popping in to his head.

“So how long will I have this tail for?” a nervous chuckle leaving his lips as he glanced down at the new topic of their conversation.

“Usually half an hour” Snape’s voice returning to its usual drawl as he stood once more.

“Half an hour?” a confused expression grew across the boy’s face as he contemplated the answer given him.

“Now unless you wish to have a permanent tail, I suggest you sit still and make the most of your bath” a faint smile danced on the man’s lips as he headed into the living room.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry swore that was the longest 30 minutes of his young life. Although it might have gone faster if he spent it in a huge body of water, where he could put his tail to its maximum use.

He ended up spending the whole time wishing Snape would come and sit with him, he didn’t need to talk, just wait with him.

Wait.

What was happening to him?

Why was he thinking this way?

Harry shook the thoughts from his head before glancing down at his newly reformed legs.

He felt his body ache with exhaustion as he pulled himself from the calming waters before reaching for a towel.

The young wizard gently wiped the droplets from his skin as he wandered into the lounge, the warmth from the fire place radiating through his skin.

This was lovely.

He stepped closer to the fire before sitting down in front of it.

“I see you’ve made yourself at home”

Harry jumped at the sudden voice behind him before turning around, his hand greeted with a cup of hot chocolate.  

“T-thank you” Harry smiled as he accepted the cup in his fingers, not really sure what to say next.

“You must be ready for bed”

“As must you”

“Yes well…” Snape began as his eyes turned to the couch he had made up as a bed for the younger wizard.

Harry’s eyes followed the man’s before landing on the couch also.

“Is that for me?” Harry asked, not looking away from the makeshift bed.

“It is indeed” Snape’s voice refocusing the boy as he turned to face him once more.

“I-I don’t…” Harry began, not entirely sure how to end his sentence as he glanced away from the professor.

He felt hot all of a sudden.

But why?

“You don’t what Harry?” Snape’s voice was soft, calming, but above all, sympathetic as he spoke to the young wizard.

“I don’t want to…” Harry began once more before closing his eyes, deciding it was best just to spit it out.

“Sleep by myself” he finished, afraid to witness the expression on his potions professors face.

“It’s alright Harry. I understand”.


	6. The Truth Be Told

Snape’s eyes slit open as he felt the boy turn over once more. He must be having another nightmare… Snape wondered as he contemplated whether to wake Harry up.

Hmm…

Rescue him from his nightmares or deprive the young wizard of some much needed sleep…

He did wonder as he glanced over at Harry, watching his body twitch and writhe in accordance with the events occurring in his mind.

The potions professor felt a sadness welling up inside him as his eyes traced the scars scattered across the boy’s face, the red marks tainting his neck, a temporary reminder of an imminent end to his young life.

He tried to resist the anger beginning to seep into his consciousness as he wondered how any human could do this to another human being.

That man… Snape sneered at the mere thought of the fat self-centred oath that Harry was forced to live with.

Surely Dumbledore must have known…

How could he not?

But if he’d known, why would he subject the boy to such torture?

Perhaps he should question the older wizard in the morning…  

Snape glanced at the clock on the wall…

02:32…

Great…

He knew he had to get back to sleep but he also knew he most likely wouldn’t…

Snape’s gaze darted to the boy next to him as he watched Harry flinch, a slight gasp escaping his lips before he recoiled once more.

Definitely a nightmare.

The professor leaned in closer to the younger wizard before sliding an arm around the boy’s waist, drawing him in closer.

Perhaps this will help?

After all he didn’t want to be alone.

 

XOXOXOX

 

“What is it dear Severus?” Dumbledore questioned, not looking up from his parchment as Snape stood in the doorway to the man’s office.

The potions professor let a silent sigh escape his lips, wishing he’d given the precise wording of this imminent conversation more thought as he pondered exactly what to say.

“Why is it that…” Snape began before stalling, trying to summon the most appropriate words before continuing.

“Yes Severus?” the older wizard prompted him before finally glancing up from the parchment before him.

Snape’s eyes narrowed as he began to step toward Dumbledore.

“Why is it that you allowed Harry to live with such despicable people? He would have been better to have grown up somewhere else. Anywhere else” the man’s voice breaking as he tried to disguise the anger in his voice.

“Now now dear Severus” the older wizard paused before placing his parchment down and climbing from his chair.

“Do you really think it would be better for a wizard as famous as Harry to grow up in the magical world? Where everyone will forever hound him? I tell you now dear Severus, we would have one arrogant wizard on our hands” Dumbledore concluded before turning away from the professor.

 “But surely you must know-” Snape began before being summoned into silence by the older wizards finger.

“I know very well Severus”

“Then why…?!”

“His suffering will amplify his compassion for others” Dumbledore began to explain before returning behind his desk.

Snape raised an eyebrow, doubtful that the wizards words would ever rein true, let alone ever be justified.

His eyes narrowed as he stepped towards Dumbledore, trying mask the flare of anger in his eyes.

“How can you let this happen? Surely you will not allow him to return to those sorry excuse of muggles-”

“It has already been decided”

“But-”

“No but’s Severus, it is the way it must be” Dumbledore concluded before returning his gaze to the parchment before him.

Snape opened his lips once more before slowly closing them and turning away from the man.

How could Dumbledore, a wizard he admired and revered be so cruel?

“It seems you have grown an affection for the boy” Snape could feel the smug smile forming on the old man’s lips as the potions professor refused to look back at the old wizard.

“He needs someone who cares for him” Snape sneered, not bothering to hide the malice in his voice as he began down the stairs.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Snape stormed down the hallways of the castle, before finally reaching the organised chaos that was his potions classroom.

Frustration fuelled him as he slammed his fist against his desk, trying to make sense of this crazy situation.

There was no way, simply no way he was letting Harry return to that house, but how could he convince Dumbledore of that? He seemed too determined to let Harry’s childhood be a living hell.

How could he condone such behaviour? It was truly unreal, let alone maddening.

The professor looked down before glancing at his wrist.

06:57

Harry should still be in bed…

Snape snatched a bottle off the bench, filled with a violet liquid before storming out of the classroom.  


	7. Why

Snape rounded the corner before flying through the main door to his chambers. His eyes darted around the room as he strode into his bedroom.

He made no attempt to hide the gasp escaping his lips as he eyed the empty bed.

Panic struck him as his fingers loosened around the potion bottle, causing it to almost fall from his grasp.

His heart sunk as he realisation struck him.

Harry was gone.

Most likely back to that place.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Here again…

Harry sighed as he wiped a persistent tear from the corner of his eye.

He knew not to get his hopes up as he closed his eyes, feeling the springs from the worn out mattress under him poke into his fragile body.

Why had professor McGonagall brought him back here?  She said it was best that he stayed here but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her why he so fervidly didn’t want to return.

He had no choice.

He had to accept his fate.

He felt his stomach tighten as another hunger pain consumed his body.

He clenched his teeth, trying to remove from his mind the smug look plastered all over his uncle’s lips when he answered the door.

Christmas had come early. Never mind the fact that it was Christmas.

How he wanted to die. He knew he would pay dearly for the events that occurred on their last meeting.

The young wizard cringed at the thought, wishing he was still in Snape’s bed as another spring jabbed into him.

It had hardly been a few hours and he already missed him. A teacher he used to despise beyond belief was now the only man who truly knew him and the events he had suffered. He couldn’t tell Ron or Hermione about them could he…? What would they think of him? He dreaded to think.

Snape seemed to understand him, relate to him almost because of this, because of his uncle. He felt his attachment to Snape increase, a real need to have the man around him growing. What if it never stopped growing? What if he needed Snape there all the time? What if he couldn’t go a minute without him there?

He feared it was becoming slowly so. But why fear it? Snape obviously cared. More so than others it seemed.

He didn’t know what to think anymore, all this alone time was driving him mad, not to mention the imminent threat of the evening approaching.

What was his uncle going to do to him this time?

He just had to do what he had always done.

Survive.

He wished he could tell Snape about the rest of it… About how that wasn’t the first time his uncle had done that, about how he had been doing that for years, as long as he could recall in fact.

But he didn’t want to burden the professor with more of his troubles, but he couldn’t deny that having someone else know about it, really took the weight off his shoulders.

 

XOXOXOX

 

“And Just where are you going dear Severus?” Dumbledore’s voice reined down from the castle behind him.

“Apparating” Snape stated bluntly. They both knew where he was really going, this game of words was starting to get old.

“You must leave him alone Severus” Dumbledore commanded, a knowing look in his eyes.

The rage built up in the potion’s professor as he swiftly turned to face the older man.

“Do you really expect me to let him suffer like that? Do you really think I’m going to turn a blind eye?” Snape sneered at the older man, the lack of emotion on the older wizards face only infuriating him more.

“Ah but life isn’t fair dear Severus, you of all people should know that” Dumbledore smiled at the man before nodding slightly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Snape sneered  before stepping closer to the older wizard, the anger pooling in his eyes.

“I think you know”

The potion’s professor bit back before turning and stalking away.

“Ah but you must leave him alone” Dumbledore reaffirmed before raising his finger in the air.

“I will not” Snape growled before disappearing before the old wizard.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry opened his eyes, suddenly alarmed as nothing but darkness greeted them. His heart began to pound as he wondered what the time was, although he knew what time it was… It was Vernon visiting time and the thought turned his stomach as he heard the sound of faint footsteps approach.

He sunk his teeth into his lips as he braced himself for yet another unpleasant visit, although, he expected this one would be worse… Far worse…


	8. Silence

Harry felt himself wince as the sound of each lock clicking open penetrated his ears.

He braced himself, he prayed he would never have to endure this again, but it seems fate has other ideas.

His eyes darted to the door as only locks remained sealed. He felt his heart pound in his chest as his breathing became shallow.

Click.

He did wonder how the others didn’t notice what his uncle did to him…

Maybe they did.

Maybe they just didn’t care.

Click.

Was it too late to run?

Run where…

Harry climbed to his feet before diving under the bed. Perhaps his uncle will think he apparated and will give up the chase.

Click.

Here we go again.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Snape clenched his teeth as the infamous house appeared before him. He was hoping to apparate straight into Harry’s bedroom but apparently a protective spell had been caste around the house to prevent such entries.

What was Dumbledore thinking?! How is this protecting Harry? It’s only trapping him.

Snape strode straight for the front door. He guessed it was the only way he would be able to enter.

The potion’s professor aimed his wand at the door handle before mumbling a few words.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you dear Severus”

That voice.

What was he doing here?

Surely he wouldn’t go this far to stop him from doing what he knew was right.

“Well you’re not me” Snape bit back before continuing his spell.

“Let him be Severus”

“Let him be? He nearly died last time!” Snape shouted, unable to hold back his anger as he turned to face the aging wizard.

“You are letting your attachment to the boy cloud your judgement Severus.” Dumbledore stated matter of factly.

“No. I simply will not allow this to happen”

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry watched as his uncle forced the door open before stepping inside the room.

The young wizard forced his breathing into silence, he couldn’t afford to give away any sign he was here.

He bit down, praying the man would succumb to boredom and give up.

His heart pounded as the man approached the bed before halting.

Please just go.

Please just go.

It felt as though time had stopped still, the view out from under his bed was a picture frozen in time.

“I know you’re in here boy”

Vernon’s voice resonated off the walls, beginning the cycle of time along with it.

No no no no no

The young wizard’s heart began racing at a hundred miles an hour.

He can’t find me. I can’t let him find me.

Harry panicked, not realising his breathing was growing louder and louder.

“Ah, yes” the man chuckled before going down to his knees in front of the bed.

No! No! No!

Deep down inside, Harry knew he was doomed. He knew his uncle would find him but prayed to whatever god was listening that he would be spared.

No gods were listening today.

“Just as I thought” Vernon’s eyes locked with Harry’s.

Fuck.

“You will pay for that dearly, you little brat” Vernon screwed up his face as he grabbed the young wizard by the arm before yanking him out from under the bed.

Harry felt his arm ache from being torn into so many different positions.

He braced himself as best he could as he watched the bed looming closer and closer.

He felt his uncle toss him on the stained mattress, his head whacking into the wall in the process. He cringed as the taste of blood filled his mouth.

“You friend won’t save you this time boy!” Vernon taunted as he yanked Harry’s trousers down, ripping them in the process.

“Do you know why?” the man taunted before continuing, “because I had a little chat with a very old wizard who assured me it would never happen again”.

Old wizard…? Dumbledore…? But why would Dumbledore let him be subjected to this?

The young wizard felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he tried desperately to hold them back.

This always hurt but why did it seem so much worse this time? Normally he didn’t start to cry until after his uncle had left.

“You’ll pay for what your freaky little friend did to me last time” Vernon grunted, blinded by rage as he roughly pulled his cock from his trousers before carelessly aligning it with Harry’s entrance.

The young wizard bit down hard, a mixture of holding back the tears and bracing himself for what he knew was coming.

Harry’s head was wauchted back as the man’s fat fingers forcibly covered the boy’s mouth before he began ramming his cock into the young wizard’s body.

Harry couldn’t help it as a scream tore from his throat, the hand muffled it but it certainly didn’t silence it.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

He was too late.

He was too late and he knew it.

All because he got stuck talking to that foolish old man.

That scream…. Snape had felt it like it was his own…

Snape aimed his wand at the door before tearing it apart with his magic.

“Snape you mustn…” Dumbledore’s word faded from his ears as the potion’s professor flew up the stairs.


	9. The Time Has Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t had a chance to update before now, I’ve been so busy with that annoying thing called work… But I hope you enjoy and thank you for all your lovely comments :) I really enjoy reading them :)

How could Dumbledore be so cruel?

Snape pondered as he stormed up the stairs.

He had to reach Harry, he had to save the young wizard, although he feared he was too late…

The potions professor cringed on the inside, afraid of the condition he might find the boy in…

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Harry sunk his teeth into his lips as the agonising thrusts subsided to a bit more than a dull ache.

“Your all mine now boy!” Vernon chuckled maniacally before sinking his fingers into the boy’s vulnerable neck.

The young wizard grasped at the fingers suffocating him, trying desperately to pry them off but it was no use.

“You better get used to this boy! It isn’t going to stop just because you have a little cry” Vernon growled before forcing his member further into the Harry’s young body.

“No one’s going to waste their time rescuing you this time, especially not that greasy haired freak”

Harry felt his surroundings fade from his view as his vision grew dim.

“Do you want to know how I’m so sure boy?”

Not again…

“Because that old man with the long beard told me boy”.

The young wizard felt his trust in Dumbledore crumble. He knew it was a distinct possibility that his uncle was lying but in this particular instance, he feared it to be the truth.

Harry knew this feeling all too well as his perception of the outside world slowly vanished.

Surely his uncle wouldn’t kill him…

Not yet at least…

He seemed far too delighted to have him back for these perverse activities that he enjoys so much.

Harry’s young body began to give up on the desperate struggle for oxygen as his lungs seemed to willingly accept their fate.

He knew his uncle was still inside him, thrusting violently but he could hardly feel it.

There were times in the past when he couldn’t wait for his uncle to stop but those thoughts were long gone. He prayed this time would be the last time. He had grown wary of surviving one of these encounters, only to sit in dread of the next.

He felt his uncle force his face into the mattress before loosen the grip on his neck, only to use that hand to push Harry’s head further into the bed.

Harry felt his body paralysed, unable to move yet still aware of all the violations conducted against it.

He felt the smallest amount of air invade his lungs, barely enough to keep him conscious but enough to keep him alive.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Snape reached the top of the stairs before locating the all too familiar door. He zeroed in on it before charging towards it.

He figured it would be locked as he instinctively aimed his wand at the many locks decorating the door.

“Alohamora” the potions professor whispered before waiting for the locks to click open…

…

…

Nothing.

Perhaps it was already unlocked?

Snape clasped his fingers around the door handle before trying it.

…

Its locked?

How is that possible…?

That spell has never failed him before…

“Having trouble Severus?”

That voice…

Not again…

Snape closed his eyes before slowly letting the breath out of his lungs.

He needed to calm down.

It wasn’t like him to be in such a state, but Harry…

What was happening behind that door?

He knew what.

He had to stop it.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

He must be close…

Surely…

He’d been pounding into his worn body for what felt like forever.

The pressure forced on his head was immense, he felt as though his skull was about to crack, to give in along with the rest of his body.

He felt a warmth he was sure was blood drain down his leg as the weight of his uncle slammed him into the bed once more.

Not much shocked Harry anymore.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Snape stepped back from the door before deciding to do this the old fashioned way…

He ran at the door, pushing his whole weight against the blatant obstruction.

He had to save Harry.

It wasn’t fair that he had to go through this.

It simply wasn’t.

The professor flinched as his body collided against the door, not moving the wooden object at all.

“You’re wasting your time dear Severus”

Snape bit down, the older man’s words only infuriating him more. He knew the man had put an extra spell on the door, he knew he had something to do with why he couldn’t get through, that’s why he was so confident downstairs.

But what could he do now?

How could he possibly get to him?

Snape’s mind ran through a series of possibilities at a million miles an hour.

None of which seemed viable in the slightest.

He felt like slamming his head against the wall in frustration but he didn’t want to give Dumbledore the satisfaction of knowing he’d got to him.

What to do…

What to do…

An idea surged like a bolt of lightning through the professors head…

It may just work…

Snape strode past Dumbledore without saying a word.


	10. Time is of the Essence

Snape could feel Dumbledore’s smug eyes on him as he sailed past him, wishing the man would just vanish back to Hogwarts… or perhaps Azkaban would be more fitting…

“Where are you going dear Severus?”

Snape put his occlumency to the test as he attempted to shield his thoughts from the older wizard. He simply couldn’t afford to give away his new game plan as he marched into a neighbouring room.

“The bathroom” Snape lied as he blatantly stumbled into what was obviously another bedroom.

“Now now Severus, there’s no need to be like that”

“Go away you old fool” the potions professor mumbled, although he didn’t know why he spoke it so quietly when it’s obvious Dumbledore will of heard it anyway.

Perhaps he needed to hear it…

Snape slammed the door shut before casting one of his own homemade curses on it. Surely it would take the old man a good portion of time to figure this one out.

The professor turned his focus back to the task at hand as he darted straight for the open window before pulling himself through it.

He kept his thoughts calm as he continued to block the older wizard from his mind.

Snape looked down before stepping out onto the ledge.

He had to hurry up!

The professor put one foot in front of the other as he carefully climbed along the narrow ledge towards the window he knew would lead to Harry’s room.

Not far now…

Snape’s eyes fell on yet another obstruction as his fingers danced over the rough brickwork.

Bars?

On his window?

He shouldn’t be surprised let’s be honest.

Snape shook his head as he approached the obtrusive metal before once again withdrawing his wand.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Relief washed over Harry as he felt the familiar sensation of his uncle’s seed filling his insides.

He hated it.

But at least it meant this whole experience was drawing to a close…

 Harry cringed as the grunts and moans of his uncle filled his ears. His body began to instinctively shudder, the disgust at himself welling inside as he tried to silence his body.

The relief was short lived as he felt Vernon begin to withdraw his member, slowly but deliberately.

Harry tried to bite back the tears and he felt his uncles fluid seeping from his opening.

He didn’t want to open his eyes. He wanted to deny this was even happening, to pretend it was happening to someone else. Not that he would ever wish this on anyone.

Harry felt the pressure on his head ease before completely leaving him.

He felt his body begin to shake, he willed it to stop, he didn’t want his uncle to know he had gotten to him, to know he had effectively won.

He had to take his mind elsewhere.

To be free of this place.

Snape.

He must know he was missing by now surely?

But why would he save him a second time…?

The fact that he saved him once was a surprise.

A pleasant surprise none the less.

He wanted Snape.

He needed Snape.

Where was he?

Harry felt a deep sorrow well up inside heart.

What if Snape never showed up?

Who else would save him? His friends? He didn’t want his friends seeing him like this…

At least Snape already knew about this…

And he trusted Snape not to tell anyone.

That’s it…

He trusted Snape?

Who would have ever thought?

But what if he never came?

What if he was destined to suffer at the hands of his uncle indefinitely?

Harry grimaced at the thought, praying desperately that this would not be the case.

“Hahaha look at you now boy” Vernon’s laughter resounded through the room as his eyes traced the blood seeping down the boy’s thigh.

“You best get used to it” he continued to chuckle before suddenly grasping at Harry’s neck.

“You have made a mess boy” Vernon scolded, glancing down at the blood smeared over his member.

“Now you best clean it up, like a good boy” the man snickered before yanking Harry toward his groin. The boy cringed as he felt his face press up against the filthy member.

His heart dropped as his eyes widened.

Surely he wasn’t going to make him…

Suck it clean?

Harry hardly had time to think as a loud explosion rang through his ears. Thanking the gods as his uncles grip on his neck was severed as a result.

Harry tried desperately to move away from the man as his eyes turned in the direction of the explosion.

His heart pounding as a dark figure became slowly visible through the smoke.

“What the devil?” Vernon began shouting at the mysterious cloaked figure invading his house.

“Shut your mouth Dursley”

That voice…

Could it be… Snape?

Harry felt his heart begin to pound, suddenly feeling hope flood through his veins as the smoke cleared, revealing his saviour.

Snape stepped through the window, never once lowering his wand as he aimed it at the fat buffoon.

“You will pay dearly for what you have done” Snape stated coldly, taking all of his self-discipline not to unleash a variety of spells of his own design on the man before him.

Harry couldn’t stop the smile as it began to form on his lips, the sight of his uncle, the man he had come to so deeply despise, was now at the mercy of the man he had come to…

Love?


	11. I miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I know I'm bloody useless at updating. I hope you enjoy! :)

Harry felt his body immersed in softness, a comfort he hadn’t felt in such a long time as the mattress felt as though it was melting around him, as if on a cloud.

Where was he? It was so warm. So nice.

A faint smile grew on the young wizards lips, wanting to be here, wherever here was, forever.

Lets see… What was the last thing he remembered?

Harry’s body instinctively seized up as the memories flooded through his brain.

His uncle.

Where was his uncle? He had to get away, there was no way he could just lay here waiting for his uncle to violate him again.

Harry pried his eyes open before forcing them to dart around the room.

His environment didn’t seem familiar at all…

Where on earth was he?

Harry flinched as he felt a warm hand rest gently against his forehead, causing the young wizard to glance up. His eyes locked with familiar brown eyes, causing a slight smile to form on the boys lips.

Harry’s smile grew as he searched the eyes before him, recognizing in them the expressions of warmth and caring, but also concern.

“W-where am I?” Harry stuttered, the aching in his body suddenly becoming apparent to his consciousness as he tried to turn his body over to face the man from a more comfortable angle.  

 “Your in my house” Snape murmured, his voice low and slow but not lacking warmth.

Harry’s eyes narrowed in confusion as the concept of Snape living in anything other than a dungeon in Hogwarts seemed to blow his mind.

“And my bed for that matter” the potions professor added, doing well to disguise the humour in his voice as he watched the young wizards reaction.

Harry’s eyes widened, although he didn’t know why he was so surprised… If he was in Snape’s house, or course he was going to be in one of his beds… But was this his _actual_ bed? The one he slept in most nights?

Harry opened his mouth in preparation for words to come out.

What words though he didn’t know as his mind reeled from the information that was just manifested into his brain.

“You seem surprised” Snape stated lowly as he retracted his hand before standing gracefully to his feet.

Harry’s eyes roamed the room, trying to disguise his surprise even though he knew it was too late.

The young wizard allowed his mind to drift, a dangerous move he soon discovered as flashbacks of his uncle penetrated his thoughts.

No.

He mustn’t go there.

Harry was jolted back to the present as he tried to escape his own mind. He knew he couldn’t begin to go down that path of memories, it was a slippery slope and he knew it.

“H-how did-” Harry began before wondering exactly how to finish the question he was so desperate to ask.

“You get here?” Snape finished the sentence for him as he began pacing up and down the room.

The young wizard simply nodded, only realising as he did so that of course Snape wasn’t looking at him and wouldn’t see it.

The professor didn’t bother to turn around as he continued the conversation.

“I retrieved you”

Harry closed his eyes as he suddenly felt compelled to remember this particular sequence of events.

“You passed out soon after I arrived, I doubt you’ll be able to remember exactly what happened”

Harry cringed, how could he let himself loose consciousness at such a crucial moment? He subconsciously shook his head, disappointed in himself as he watched Snape tinker around with various bottles.

“So you, saved me again?” the young wizard murmured, stating the blaringly obvious as he pulled the duvet further up his chest, only realising in that moment that the blanket was contacting his bare flesh.

Harry’s eyes widened as he realised he was most likely naked, his teeth sunk into his lip as he was caught between peering under the blankets and better off not knowing…

“Indeed” Snape stated as he poured the contents of one potion jar into another, watching meticulously as the substance before him forged together, creating an entirely new colour.

“What’s that for?” Harry quizzed the professor, his curiosity getting the best of him as he eyed the bottle up and down.

“You”

Harry felt his heart skip a beat at Snape’s response. He couldn’t deny it was sweet of the man to go to so much trouble for him.

“You don’t have to worry” the boy whispered, not wanting to put the man out but secretly hoping he would continue.

“It’s no trouble Potter” Snape murmured before turning around to face the boy.

Harry struggled to mask the smile on his lips as he watched Snape waltz towards him, carrying the new concoction in his fingers before passing it to him.

“Drink this, it will make you feel better”.


	12. No Place Like Home

Snape had seen a lot in his life, a lot that had shocked him, a lot that had filled his heart with rage, but nothing had quite affected him quite like this.

How one human could do this to another human just blew his mind. The professor shook his head as he wrapped his fingers around the jug handle.

He would make that fat oath pay for what he had done to Harry but he had to time it right. How he wanted to destroy him, make him suffer the most horrendous death but alas Harry was his first priority.

Besides, what could Snape have done to the man with Dumbledore standing right outside the door?

He’s lucky he was as successful as he had been, he supposed.

The potions professor watched the boiling water swirl in circles as it swiftly filled the cup.

He needed to go back, he simply couldn’t leave it as it was. The whole situation had eaten him up from the inside out since the first night he had found Harry in that state.

He should have done something then, nipped it in the bud so to speak. It certainly would have spared Harry a lot.

Snape’s eyes narrowed as he dropped a tea bag into the clear water. He watched as streams of brown seeped slowly from the tea bag, gradually turning the clear water a murky brown.

There was no point in beating himself up, what was that going to achieve now anyway?

What’s done is done.

But…

Then again…

He wouldn’t be able to rest until he’d given Dursley a taste of his own medicine.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry’s eyes wandered around the room, he had to say, he was enjoying his current surroundings.

Everything about the house was the essence of Snape, a presence he had very much come to appreciate.

A smile formed on his lips as the familiar smell of the potions professor filled his nostrils.

Harry’s hand slid across the blankets adorning the enormous bed, he didn’t think he’d ever laid on a bed so big, or maybe it just seemed big compared with what he was used to.

Hmm…

Wait…

If he was occupying Snape’s bed, then where was Snape going to sleep?

The young wizard cringed, realizing he was probably being a burden to the man. Perhaps he should at least try to make himself useful?

Harry began to push the covers from his body before feeling what seemed like every bone in his body seize up. What was wrong with him? Harry wondered as he glanced down at his body, realising then – and only then – that he had no clothes on.

The young wizard gasped at the sight, although, to be honest, Snape would have been thoroughly accustomed to seeing the boy in all his glory by now. His eyes ran over the scars marring his body, they had been well attended to, his body felt clean – well, as clean as it could possibly feel in this given circumstance, he guessed.

He wanted to thank the man as he pondered the least awkward way to do so…

The mere thought of mentioning anything to do with being exposed in front of his teacher made his cheeks flush.

But why?

Harry suspected he knew why but didn’t want to face the fact he may have developed feelings for the man. Then again, how could he not really? He’d been his night in shining armour not once, but twice…

Come to think of it, where was Snape?

 

XOXOXOX

 

He needed to do this, if for no other reason that to put his heart at ease.

Snape reassured himself as he strolled towards the Dursley’s house. He hoped Harry would be alright, he really shouldn’t have left him on his own like that, but this shouldn’t take too long. Besides, the boy was sleeping peacefully when he left, it would have been a crime to disturb him.

The professor’s eyes fell on the moon as it rested amongst the stars in the sky. Now was a better time than most for an ambush...

He needed a reason to get Vernon out of the house… Vernon and only Vernon.

Hmm…

Snape watched from a distance at the fat oaf as he laid back on his recliner, seemingly amused by whatever was playing on the television.

The professor eyed the room carefully for the presence of others.

None.

Perfect.

A faint smile grew on Snape’s lips as he withdrew his wand from his robe pocket.

“Incendio” Snape mumbled, watching as flames bursted forth from the soil. They were larger and much more intense than the professor had intended. Perhaps he wasn’t as in control of his emotions as he would like to believe.

He glanced through the glass door at Vernon, waiting for the desired reaction to take place.

…

…

Snape had never seen a man move so fast as Harry’s fat uncle bolted from his recliner, making a b line straight for the door.

This is it.

Snape stood from his vantage point behind the rose bushes, pleased that his plan was all going as intended.


	13. Revenge Is Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all your supportive comments :) They mean a lot to me :)

An amused smile formed on Snape’s lips as he watched Vernon fumble around like a fat flustered elephant. His vain attempts to put the fire out weren’t working as he glanced around the yard like a distressed oaf.

Perhaps now was the time…

Snape stepped out from behind the bushes, taking silent steps towards Harry’s uncle.

“Having trouble Dursley?” the potions professor muttered slowly as he stopped several meters from the man.

Vernon’s eyes darted around the yard, as if trying to figure out if the voice he just heard had been real or just in his head.

“Yes. You indeed heard correctly” Snape tried his best not to mock the muggle before him, but it was proving difficult indeed.

The professor’s heart pounded as Vernon’s eyes searched desperately through the darkness before locking with his.

He had to control himself. He couldn’t let his emotions get the best of him. Not now.

“Y-you” Vernon’s voice stuttered as his eyes deciphered the sight before him. The fear striking his heart was blatant on his face as he peered deeply into Snape’s eyes.

“W-what are you doing here?!” Harry’s uncle tried his best to compose himself, failing miserably as subconsciously shuffled away from the wizard. 

“What’s the matter Dursley? You look… Flustered” Snape made no attempt to hide the smile forming on his lips as he watched the man fumble backwards.

Vernon yelped as he felt his body collide with the ground under him. He couldn’t let himself show weakness in front of the man before him.

Even though the man before him was a wizard.

A very angry wizard at that.

Vernon flinched as he felt the fire raging behind him. He still hadn’t put that out, but at that point in time he couldn’t figure out what the bigger threat was. The fire or the wizard. Although one was most likely the cause of the other.

“Are you… Afraid?” Snape raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the man.

“Because, you should be”.

Snape aimed his wand at the man as a thousand curses swirled around in his mind.

But which one to use?

“Who’s going to come save you Dursley?” the professor growled a little too loud as thoughts of Harry, and all he suffered, entered his consciousness.

“N-no, p-please” Vernon all but begged as he watched Snape venture closer to him.

He had to climb to his feet, he hated feeling vulnerable on the ground.

“Was that… No one?” Snape mumbled as he watched the man try to find his feet.

He was perhaps enjoying this a little too much?

He had promised himself he would leave his attraction to the darker side of life behind him.

 

“Crucio” Snape murmured, knowing the spell would cast a lot stronger if he allowed it.

This was a start.

After all this monster was a muggle and had limited exposure, if any exposure at all, to such magic.

“AARRGGHH!!!” Vernon cried out as he felt the pain of a thousand needles penetrate his body.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you get away with what you did to Harry” Snape growled at the man, not cutting him any slack and his anger towards the man intensified the spell.  

“N-no! P-please stop! Vernon begged, praying this torture would end.

“Why should I?” Snape stated slowly, refusing the man any let up.

“If I recall correctly, and I know I am, you almost killed Harry. Where was your mercy then? It’s very different when your at the receiving end, isn’t it old man” the professor spat out, wanting the man to feel all the pain and desperation from the angle of his victim.

Snape cringed as his thoughts grew darker and darker. He was revisiting an old Snape he thought he had very much left behind years ago. He guessed some things never truly die, and his deep attraction to the dark arts was one of them.

“ARGGHH!!!” Harry’s uncle cried out in agony as the spell grew even more concentrated. The scream prompted Snape from the darkness imbuing his thoughts, suddenly breaking the spell.

Snape’s ear’s filled with the desperate gasps of the man before him, his body taking advantage of the reprieve from torture. His whole body was blatantly weakened by the pain and agony he was at the mercy of.

“P-please” Vernon pleaded, suddenly realising he should remain quiet, not wanting to attract more unwanted attention from the wizard before him.

Snape’s eyes narrowed as a familiar smell filled the air around him. It was a smell he knew to belong to one wizard and one wizard only.

But who…

Snape’s eyes instinctively widened as it dawned on him.

Dumbledore.

He had to get out of there, and fast. It’s not as though the headmaster wouldn’t know it was him but he didn’t feel like another insufferable argument with the old man tonight.

“I’m not finished with you, you best _look forward_ to my return” Snape muttered before apparating into thin air.  

 


	14. The Sweetest Things

Harry felt his heart begin to race. He knew something bad was about to happen as that awful sense of foreboding lingered around him.

It felt like it did before.

Like it had always been.

He was too afraid to open his eyes but more terrified not to.

He heard a noise, was it a faint footstep? He prayed not as he listened carefully for more.

Harry cringed as the sound repeated itself, until the young wizard knew there was no way he could deny this was happening.

The boy’s breathing hitched as he heard the floor creek in the old motel they were staying in over winter break.

He wasn’t at all surprised when he was told that if he was a good boy, he’d get to sleep on the couch in the small living room. If not then it was the porch outside.

In the snow.   

Fear struck his heart at the prospect. He knew he would die should that decision be made, but surely that was an empty threat?

Who knows…

The young wizard finally pried an eye open, gasping slightly as his gaze fell on a shadow of a man in the door way.

He didn’t need to focus to know who it was.

His uncle.

Of that he had no doubt as he dreaded what he knew was coming.

Harry sunk his teeth into his lip as the footsteps grew louder

 

“Get up boy” Vernon growled as he grabbed Harry by his over-sized pajama top, before dragging the young wizard off the couch.

It was always worse when he was angry about something as Harry braced himself for a brutal violation.

“Get on your knees! I shouldn’t have to tell you boy!” the agitation ripe in his voice as he man handled the boy until he was in the desired position.

Harry felt his face collide with the edge of the couch as the sound of Vernon unbuckling his belt filled his ears.

The young wizard’s breathing became shallow as he heard his uncle’s trousers drop to the floor before fat hands grasped his hips.

Harry choked back the sobs as he felt the man yank his trousers down, exposing the boy’s body.

He bit down hard as he felt something hard press against his opening.

He hated this.

This part was always the worst.

Maybe he would have been better out in the snow after all.

Harry felt a hand cover his mouth before being consumed by the familiar sharp pain as his uncle forced his way in to his young body.

Harry awoke with a bolt, his heart pounding as cold sweat ran down his face.  

He instinctively sat upright as he tried to get his bearings.

Where was he?

His eyes darted around the room, comforted by the light flooding through the windows.

He knew this place.

He was at Snape’s house.

He knew he was safe now as his heart rate began to slow down.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Perhaps that was the best plan? Keep paying the fat old man little visits until he was too petrified to even step outside his front door.

Yes.

That was the perfect idea.

Snape smirked as he brought the large brandy to his lips. He needed it after that.

He had to be more careful though.

He had to be unpredictable.

It would have been the cruciatus curse that gave his location away to Dumbledore, he was sure of it.

Perhaps next time he should use one if his own spells.

At least that way no one could hunt him down, well not as quickly anyway.

Snape glanced around the Leaky Caldron, thankful there was no one there he knew as he pondered bringing Harry here.

…

Perhaps a quiet drink at home would be best.

Snape slipped his fingers into his pocket before withdrawing his old pocket watch.

Perhaps he was calm enough now to return as he clipped it open before glancing at the time.

Yes.

He best get back and check on Harry.

Snape quickly downed the last of his brandy before climbing down from the bar stool and heading for the door.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Harry gazed out the window as he pondered where Snape could be. He had wandered all through the house but couldn’t find the potions professor anywhere.

Maybe he had to go to work? But schools on break so shouldn’t he be on break also?

Harry shook his head, not knowing the answer. All he knew is that he felt desperately lonely without the man around him.

It’s crazy the way life works out.

The young wizard’s ear perked up at the sound of a door opening.

The front door perhaps?

A pang of excitement sprung across his heart and he climbed to his feet.

“Snape?” Harry called out as he headed toward the origin of the noise.

“Harry” Snape almost smiled as his eyes fell on the young wizard.

Almost.


	15. Inner Resolve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for all your Kudos and lovely comments :) and sorry again for my slack updating!

“Where are we going today?” Harry asked the professor as he followed him through the tangle of streets that led on from Spinner’s end.

“I thought perhaps we could spend some quality time together” Snape suggested before gently grabbing the young wizard’s forearm and apparating into thin air.

Harry’s eyes widened as a beautiful lake appeared before them, encompassed with willow trees and long golden grass.

Where were they?

“Come” Snape commanded, before leading the young wizard close to the waters edge.

Harry couldn’t recall seeing a place more beautiful as his eyes roamed across the stunning landscape.

“Have a seat” Snape suggested, prompting Harry to turn around. His eyes beheld the perfect picnic.

When had Snape done this? He had only had his back turned for a few seconds.

He was in awe of the man’s creation.

He did all this for him?

Harry bit into his lip, trying to hold back the tears. He didn’t believe he deserved such amazing treatment from a man he used to call the greasy git. To be fair though, it was more Ron that called him that. 

“T-thank you, it’s beautiful” Harry tried to swallow the lump in his throat as his eyes ran over the picnic blanket and all the food laid out ready to eat. He truly was with one of the most remarkable wizards.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Dumbledore sat at his desk, pondering what the new term will bring as he gazed through the window. He didn’t expect Snape to respond with such passion towards Harry and his little predicament.

There must be something in Snape’s past that he hadn’t disclosed. Something he would rather no one knew about.

Perhaps he should get to the bottom of it?

Then again, who knows. Perhaps he feels compelled to help Harry because he has the eyes of his mother. Something Snape seemed unable to ignore.

He knew the potions professor had hated Harry’s father immensely.

Again, something he never got over.  

Then again, to be fair, he probably had good reason to hate the man. Especially having to endure bullying and humiliation on daily basis, at the hands of James.

Ah yes, Severus spent a lot of time by himself, made himself an easy target really…

Dumbledore chuckled before slipping another sherbet fizz into his mouth.

Yes, Snape’s life could have had a very different outcome, that’s for sure…

It was a give in that Harry wouldn’t be aware of Snape’s childhood, this could make for some interesting entertainment…

Dumbledore was certain Harry would loose a significant chunk of respect for his potions professor, if he were to stumble upon certain facts about him…

Yes…

This could be very interesting indeed…

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Harry couldn’t recall a time in his life when anyone had done something so kind for him.

After all, Snape didn’t have to take him on a lovely picnic, but he chose to, but it seemed more than that… It seemed he had _wanted_ to.

He desperately wanted to say thank you, but the lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything at all. He knew if he tried, he would be liable to cry and it would be difficult for him to stop.

Snape sat there, silently admiring the view, as if his mind were a million miles away. This place must have meant something very special to him.

“Your mother used to come here, a lot” Snape whispered, as if reading the young wizard’s mind.

“You knew my mother?” the surprising revelation enabling Harry to speak once more.

“Yes” Snape stated simply, his eyes still in another world.

“How?”

“We were in the same year at Hogwarts, but I knew her before that, she lived, not far from me”

Harry’s eyes widened in surprise. This was something he certainly hadn’t expected.

“Her sister, wasn’t very kind to her” Snape continued.

“Aunt Petunia” Harry stated, but it came out more as a question.

“Indeed” the professor nodded.

“That doesn’t surprise me” Harry agreed.

“She thought Lily was a freak because of her magic. When really, all she was, was jealous.”

The young wizard learnt something everyday and he always enjoyed hearing about his parents.

“Were you good friends with my mother?” Harry looked up at the man as he made no attempt to hide the curiosity in his eyes.

“Yes”

“What happened?”

“We drifted apart in school. She got Gryffindor, I got Slytherin, obviously.”

Snape hesitated before continuing.

“Then she met your father”.

Harry nodded as a silence settled between them.

A long while had passed before the young wizard raked up the courage to say, something that he had wanted to say for a while.

“Thank you” Harry whispered as a butterfly fluttered between the two.

“What for?”

“This”

“It’s just a picnic”

“Yeah, but, you didn’t have to do it, but you still chose to”

Harry felt at one with everything around him. Like no matter what happened in his life, everything would be alright. The nervousness, the anxiety, the fear he had held onto for his whole life just dissolved.

“It was no trouble for a friend, I promise you that.”


	16. All Good Things

Harry was confused about what was going to happen, he wanted to ask Snape if he had to return to school, but was afraid the answer would be yes.

 

Yet of course it would be yes, why wouldn't it be?

 

The young wizard normally loved the day before school began, but not this time.

 

It used to be his escape from his home life, escape from the Dursleys, most notably his uncle.

 

But now… he only wanted to relish in this new found sense of belonging that Snape, of all people, had given him.

 

Harry watched as the flames in the fire place consumed the last log of wood. He could hear Snape in the kitchen, most likely preparing a cup of tea before bed.

 

The young wizard felt at such peace. He couldn't recall a time in his life when he felt this before. But he loved it, adored it and prayed it would never end.

 

“Here you go” Snape whispered lowly before handing Harry a cup of tea.

 

“T-thank you” Harry stuttered as he was shaken from his reverie.

 

“It's camomile, it will help you sleep”

 

“Your so, thoughtful” Harry began before looking over at the man.

 

A silence instilled over them as the rain patted down outside.

 

“How come you didn't just use Magic to make tea?” Harry asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

 

“It means more, if you have to put actual effort in, I find”

 

Harry smiled to himself as he took a sip from the cup.

 

Snape wasn't wrong, this tea certainly had a relaxing effect on him as he lay back on the couch.

 

It didn't take long for Harry to drift off.

 

Snape’s eyes fell on the young wizard, watching him sleep peacefully. The potions professor smiled before he climbing to his feet and collecting the boy in his arms.

 

He hoped he wouldn't disturb him as he carefully carried the young wizard up the stairs.

 

Snape smiled as soft breaths escaped Harry's lips. He definitely needed a good night’s rest before school tomorrow.

 

The professor slowly placed the boy down on the bed before wrapping the blankets around him.

 

Snape felt a deep sadness fall over him as he watched the young wizard sleeping peacefully.

 

Maybe this whole experience was drudging up events from his own past, events he’d much rather forget.

 

Snape tried to shake the memories from his mind as he climbed into the bed next to the young man.

 

 

XOXOXOX

 

 

“Now Minerva dear, I’m afraid I require a favour from you” Dumbledore caught the witch on her way towards her class.

 

“What is it Headmaster? I’m afraid I’m in quite the rush”

 

“When you see Severus, could you please pass on to him that he is required to teach young mister Potter occlumency, the sooner the better.”

 

“Well, yes, if I see him, I shall” the witch nodded before breaking away to head towards her class.

 

Professor McGonagall did wonder why Dumbledore didn’t just ask professor Snape himself?

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry awoke as the sunlight assaulted his eyes.

This was it. His first day back at school for the year.

Harry felt the sadness well up inside his heart as he wondered where exactly this would leave him and Snape.

Would everything go back to the way it was before this last Christmas?

He prayed not.

His life would feel desperately lonely without Snape being right there.

How would he tell Ron and Hermione? They wouldn’t understand…

They’d think he had gone bonkers.

Maybe he just wouldn’t tell them…

Yes. That was probably for the best.

Harry heard footsteps climb the stairs before entering the bedroom.

He knew it would be time to get up, but he really didn’t want to.

“Rise and shine” Snape stated lowly before pulling back the curtains.

Harry grimaced as the sunlight almost blinded him.

Was Snape, in his robes already?

He had to get up…

Harry sat up in the large bed, trying to summon the motivation to exercise his legs and get up.

“It occurred to me during the night, that I never did give you this” Snape murmured, before passing a small, beautifully wrapped box to the young wizard.

“W-what is it?” Harry eyed the box curiously.

“It’s your Christmas present”

“For me?”

“Yes. For you”

“I-I’ve never had one of these before” Harry stuttered as he reached out to accept the present.

The young wizard smiled as he opened the box, before withdrawing a beautiful necklace.

He held the object in his fingers, admiring the unusual figure, which he guessed must have been a rune of some description, and of course, the crystal at its centre.

“It’s for protection” Snape almost smiled, almost, at the delight in the boy’s eyes.

Harry quickly undid the clasp before putting it on around his neck.

“Thank you, I love it”

“Your more than welcome”

“These are also for you, albeit, they aren’t as exciting” Snape indicated towards a large pile of books on a nearby table.

“Unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to get new books, so my old ones will have to do in the meantime”.

“T-these are great, thank you”

Harry smiled, suddenly feeling like he was going to achieve grades that could rival Hermione this year.

“It’s just about time to go” Snape whispered as he glanced at the clock.

“Right” Harry nodded before collecting Snape’s old school books and adding them into his trunk.


	17. Best Thing's In Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I wrote a chapter that's longer than 800 words, I'm so proud of myself lol.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy :)

It was strange being back at Hogwarts. Of course it was great seeing Ron and Hermione, and Hagrid of course. But he couldn't help but think of Snape…

 

What was he doing in this very moment…?

 

Teaching most likely, after all, here Harry was, sitting in the _riveting_ class of divination.

 

The young wizard tried stifling his yawn as he discreetly pulled out his class time table.

 

Let's see… he had defence against the dark arts, then ancient runes, then herbology, and lastly potions.

 

The mere sight of the last word, roused butterflies in the boys stomach.

 

Now he had to wait all day till he got to lay eyes on Snape again.

 

Why was he so excited to see the man?

 

“Divination, an utterly useless art if you ask me” Hermione stated brazenly as the students around them began packing up their stuff.

 

“Is class over already?” Harry's eyes widened in a panic, as the commotion around him tore him from his thoughts. He couldn't believe he had been sitting here for an hour and literally all he had thought about was Snape!

 

The young wizard stood from his seat and gathered Snape’s old books in his arms, before putting them in his bag. They were like gold to him, imbued with the man's energy, his scent, his everything.

  
“I don’t know how she got a job teaching here” Hermione groaned as the trio made their way down the spiral staircase.

“You got me there” Ron rolled his eyes before loosing his balance and almost falling down the stairs.

“I wonder who our new defence against the dark arts teacher is this year” Harry muttered as they approached the familiar classroom.

“Professor Moody, but he goes by the name Mad Eye” Hermione took pride in the fact that she knew the answer. But that wasn’t foreign… She always knew the answer to everything.

“The auror?” Ron squinted in disbelief at the possibility.

“Yes Ronald”.

“This will be interesting” Ron rolled his eyes before taking his usual seat.

Harry took the seat next to him before retrieving his book from his bag.

The young wizard eyed the book, amazed at how well Snape looked after his things.

Then again, was he really that surprised? It was Snape after all.

He carefully placed the book on the desk before him as he waited for the teacher to arrive.  

“Eh! Where did you get that tatty old book?!” Ron pulled a face to match his horror, as his eyes beheld the sight before him.

“Snape” Harry replied truthfully before realising what he had just said.

Shit.

“Snape?!” Ron’s eyes widened in disbelief.  

“Ah” Harry hesitated, he had absolutely no idea what to say, and he just screwed up big time.

Ron’s face had frozen, locked in a state of horror as he anxiously awaited his best friends answer.

“It was a joke Ron” Harry forced himself to laugh, a mixture of guilt and sadness welled up inside him.

He had effectively denied Snape and all he meant to him.

To his best friend…

Who he should be able to tell anything to…

What did that say about him?

“Right” Ron nodded, his eyes betraying his doubt and uncertainty as they refused to turn away from Harry.

Harry felt relief wash over him as the new teacher strode into the classroom, drawing Ron’s attention as he announced himself with great importance.

The teacher looked like he'd had a hard life or been addicted to crack for half of it.

Great.

Why couldn’t they just have a normal teacher?

Like Snape.

 

XOXOXOX

 

“Severus, do you have a moment?” Minerva questioned the wizard as she knocked on the open classroom door.

“Of course” Snape replied, glancing up from his desk to give the witch his full attention.

“Dumbledore asked me to pass you on a message, I thought now would be a good time, being between classes and all”.

Snape nodded, prompting Minerva to continue.

“He asked that you teach Harry the art of occlumency”

“Does he now? Did he say why?”

“He believes the dark lord might start to use Harry to his advantage by invading his mind”.

Snape seethed. It wasn’t the dark lord he was worried about, it was Dumbledore…

What did the old fool have planned?

“Thank you Minerva. Do pass onto the headmaster that if he wishes me to do something, to come and tell me himself”.

The transfiguration’s professor simply nodded before leaving the room.

She could figure that something was going down and Snape knew it.

Dumbledore would probably do what he always did and make himself look like an angel.

The thought turned Snape’s stomach as he turned his attention back to the paper’s on his desk.

Perhaps it was too harsh giving the juniors an exam on their first day?

He couldn’t worry about that now.

What he did have to ponder is why Dumbledore wanted him to invade Harry’s mind in order to teach him how to block people from doing so?

He had no idea.

Perhaps there was something in Harry’s past that he wanted him to see.

Something that would shock him…

Something that would perhaps drudge up an event from his own past, something he’d rather forget…

Snape shook his head before standing up and wandering towards the window.

What was he supposed to do in this situation?

He had no idea.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry had been looking forward to this all day.

Walking down this hallway used to fill his heart with dread as he grew closer towards potions class.

Not today.

Although he was nervous about how Snape would interact with him in class, verses how he was _supposed_ to interact.

He didn’t want Snape to treat him like he used to, but he also didn’t want to arouse suspicion, or start a chain of events that would end up tearing away this special feeling that was growing abundantly inside his heart.

Harry and his friends approached the classroom before taking their usual seats.

The young wizard glanced up at the professor, hoping to catch his attention.

It worked.

Harry flicked Snape a small smile before averting his eyes back to his bare desk.

Book…

He needed to get his book out…

God…

Where the hell was his brain today?

Or rather just now…

Harry tried to focus as he heard Ron speak words next to him…

What words he spoke, he had no idea as he watched Snape gather a collection of papers in his hand before systematically placing one in front of each person.

“Silence everyone” Snape demanded in his low mumble, instantly gaining everyone’s attention.

“In front of you, you will find parchment with questions on it. You have 40 minutes to complete this test”

Harry felt his heart flutter as the professor stopped in front of his desk. He was sure the man lingered longer in front of his desk than he did anyone else’s…

Or maybe it just seemed like longer…

Either way, it wasn’t long enough.

Harry smiled as the older wizard gave him a faint smile. The kind of smile no one else would notice, but it was there.

The rest of the class went by uneventfully except for the occasional glance between student and teacher as the class filled in their test papers.

“Everyone bring your test papers up to me on your way out. Class dismissed, except for Mr Potter, I need to see you after class”

 Harry heard Draco whistle from the other side of the room, followed by uncontrolled laughter and sniggering from his entourage of Crabb and Goyle.

“What’s so funny, Mr Malfoy?” Snape singled the blonde out, causing the whole class to divert their attention to him.

“N-nothing” Draco muttered before turning his gaze back to his desk in shame.

Snape held his gaze for several seconds before turning his attention to more important concerns.

The professor watched as the pile of paper grew on his desk with each passing student.

He waited patiently until the only two remaining in the class were Harry and himself.

Snape stood before making his way over to Harry.

“Dumbledore has requested that I teach the art of occlumency, to shield your thoughts from the prying minds of others.”

“Okay” Harry nodded.

“I will need to teach you out of class hours, is this okay with you?”

“Of course” the young wizard nodded, delighted at the possibility of being able to spend more one on one time with the man.

“Alright, we shall start tomorrow after dinner?”

“Sounds perfect” Harry smiled before handing the professor his paper.


	18. When Dreams Become Nightmares

“Where are you going Harry?” Ron question his best friend as he watched him climb from the table.

“I’ve got some extra study to do” Harry explained before darting his eyes in the direction of Severus Snape.

He felt his heart race as his eyes locked with the professors. The idea of spending more time with him excited him in a way nothing else ever had.

“For what? It’s only the second day of school?” Ron pulled a face at his best friend.

Harry tore his eyes back towards the red haired boy before briefly glancing at Hermione. He cringed as he witnessed the strange expression in her eyes.

She’d just caught the glance he shared with Snape.

There’s no pulling the wool over her eyes.

“I need to learn how to keep you know who from invading my mind, Dumbledore said so himself”.

“Oh yeah, and who’s teaching you that? Not Mad eye I hope, he's scary, he is” Ron stated bluntly, before rolling his eyes.

“You’re liable to break your brain forever if that one went anywhere near it” the red head added before stuffing his mouth full of fried chicken.

“Snape, actually” Harry decided to be honest before feeling the eyes of half the table suddenly on him.

“Snape?!” Ron half choked, before coughing up bits of chicken all over the table.

  “At least Snape knows what he’s doing” Hermione began, turning her gaze from Ron and the chicken surrounding him.

“Do be careful though Harry” the witch pressed, a stern gaze echoing in her eyes.

“Of course” Harry nodded, knowing there was no cause for concern as he departed the great hall.

Harry made his way towards the potions classroom as he wondered what to expect from today’s out of hours lesson.

“Now Mr Potter, we can either do this lesson here, or perhaps somewhere a little more comfortable” Snape suggested as he strode into the classroom.

“Where else did you have in mind?”

“My chambers, perhaps?” Snape cringed internally at how seductively the words sounded as they left his lips. He figured the boys resistance to legilimens was going to be low at best. He knew Harry had experienced true horrors in his young life and perhaps somewhere a bit more comfortable would be better.

Harry simply nodded before following the professor out of the class and down the hallway.

“Do you really think the dark lord is that much of a threat to me right now?” Harry looked up to the man in curiosity.

“There’s always a risk” Snape stated plainly.

“But then I don’t think its greater now that it has been”

“Then how come Dumbledore has asked that you teach me?”

“Because Dumbledore is a stu-” Snape stopped himself, realising that whatever he said, could never be taken back.

“I believe he wants you to be prepared and the art of occlumancy can take a while to master”.

“Right” Harry nodded, uncertain of what to expect.

“I won’t lie to you Harry, it wont be pleasant, memories are likely to come up that you’d rather I didn’t see” the professor assured the young wizard as they approached the door to the man’s room.

Harry felt at home once again as he stepped into the familiar room. He’s only been here a handful of times but it already felt like home.

The young wizard smiled as the light flickered from the fireplace, radiating warmth throughout the room.

“Take a seat, Harry”

The raven haired boy did as he was told, watching as Snape withdrew his wand.

“Now, in these lessons, I will attempt to penetrate your mind, you will attempt to resist. Are you ready?”

Harry nodded as he braced himself for what he knew would be a perpetual onslaught.

“Right” Snape simply nodded as he raised his wand, before aiming it at Harry’s head.

“Legilimens” Snape whispered as he tore straight into one of the boy’s memories.

He watched as Vernon dragged Harry down a grassy bank, towards a lake. There wasn’t a soul for miles.

“I’m gonna teach you how to swim boy” the man mocked the boy as he repeated the same words he had used when he told aunt Petunia where he was taking the boy.

The sun had set in the distance as twilight remained in the sky. It would soon be dark and Snape could feel the fear welling up inside Harry’s heart.

The scene became fuzzy from time to time as Harry resisted, but it was nowhere near enough to force Snape from his mind.

“Right boy, take your clothes off” Vernon barked at Harry as he watched him shiver. The man didn’t take his eyes off Harry as he undressed down to his underwear.

“All of it boy” his uncle grew visibly irritated as the boy hesitated.

“Now!” Vernon demanded before leaning in and tearing the garment down the young wizard’s thighs.

Snape resisted the urge to interfere, there was no point, it was after all, the remnants of something that had already happened.

Vernon pushed Harry against a nearby tree, holding his face against sharp bark before pressing his fat body against the boy’s.

Harry screamed as the man forced his way into his body.

Snape gasped before instinctively withdrawing the spell.

Harry’s mind became his own once more, his own to suffer with.

Snape’s wand fell to the ground, the sound resonating throughout the room.

The potion’s professor realised in that exact instant, why Dumbledore had wanted him to do this.

Snape cringed as memories flooded into his mind.

The tree.

That was the trigger.

He had buried these memories so deep that it was almost like they had happened to someone else.

Snape turned away from the boy, he needed to be alone but how could he throw Harry out after seeing all that?

“A-are you alright?” Harry climbed to his feet before stepping towards the professor.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that Harry, but I’m afraid, I need to be alone” Snape whispered, his voice about to break as he turned away from Harry.

He looked visibly unwell as he stepped toward the bathroom.

“Snape” Harry called after the man,

“I’m sorry” the boy offered as he followed the professor.

“It’s not you Harry, please, I just need some time” Snape whispered as he leaned against the bathroom door frame, facing away from the boy.

Harry didn’t want to leave Snape like this, but he also knew the man was fiercely private. When he said he needed some time, he really did need it. It wasn’t like him to appear weak in front of anyone.

The young wizard stepped away slowly before eventually heading for the door. He glanced back at the professor, a sadness welled up inside him before he finally turned away.

Snape waited till he heard the door click before allowing himself to fall to his knees. The nausea rose in his stomach as mind kept trampling back to that night in the dark forest. He wished he could expel the memory from his mind forever but he also didn’t want anyone else getting a hold of it.

It would destroy him.


	19. Trials

Snape turned over again, for what must have been the hundredth time. He didn’t know why he even bothered trying to sleep. He knew he wouldn’t be able to. Even the memory suppressant potion had hardly done anything.

The professor threw the blankets from his body before climbing to his feet. If he couldn’t sleep, then he might as well do something useful. He summoned the lights on as he walked toward the table, he might as well finish grading papers.

Snape collected the first one off the pile, before glancing at who it belonged to.

Granger.

Why bother checking it. He might as well just go through and tick everything.

Snape shook his head at the thought of the insufferable know it all. But then again, at least she had been a good friend to Harry. He doubted much got past her eyes as he glimpsed over her answers.

He needed something to distract himself from his own mind, after all.

  1. _Name one ingredient use to make poly juice potion_
  2. _Lace wing flies, leeches, knotgrass, shredded boomslang skin._



_Incorrect Miss Granger. The question called for one ingredient. Not four._

Snape wrote as he resisted flashback after flashback.

Why was this bothering him so much now? After all these years? Snape shook his head before deciding the best way to deal with anything was head on.

The professor closed his eyes before allowing his memory to take over, displaying before him an array of images he’d rather forget. He cringed as his mind returned to the dark forest. He could see the whomping willow in the distance, along with James Potter and his entourage of friends.  

He knew where they were going. The same place they always went.

The shrieking shack.

But what were they up to this time?

Perhaps he should find out.

Snape darted from tree to tree as he approached the group, before stalling. He watched as James withdrew his wand and placed a spell on the temperamental tree.

He had to wait until all four of them had gone in before he could even dare venture from the shadows. He would die of humiliation if he got caught scurrying around after them like a pathetic mouse.

Wait.

Is that effectively what he is doing?

Snape shrugged the thought from his mind as he watched Sirius Black enter the obscure entrance at the base of the tree.

Right.

This is it.

Snape ran from the edge of the dark forest, before finally making his way to the entrance. He had to be quick, but not too quick. He had to avoid the willow waking up, but he didn’t want to run straight into the group.

How unpleasant would that be?

Snape breathed a sigh of relief as he made it safely into the tunnel.

He could hear the familiar voices up ahead as he hung back, not wanting to rouse suspicion of his presence.

The boy tried to make out the words spoken, but they were muffled.

He had to get closer, if there was any point at all, to this exercise.

Snape began climbing the staircase, until he reached the top. He was familiar with the layout of the shack and figured the best hiding spot was in a closet off to the side.

He made for that closet.

The voices still weren’t clear…

Why?

They must be using an enchantment. This only made Snape more curious as to what they were hiding.

“You three go on ahead” James stated loudly, distinctively louder than the other words spoken. Almost like he knew someone was there and he wanted them to hear it.

Snape gasped at the realisation. He had to leave, but how? He would have to wait until they had all left before he could even attempt to escape.

But what if James never left, or worse, knew he was there the whole time. After all, they have that stupid map of theirs, but surely it wouldn’t work at the shrieking shack, would it?

Guess he was about to find out, as he heard a outbreak of foot steps stampede past his hiding place.

He couldn’t move until he heard the final set of footsteps go past.

 

…

 

…

 

This could take a while. Snape was too paralysed to move, even if he wanted to. It had felt like a eternity and yet, he had heard no footsteps.

Why?

Perhaps he had left with the others after all?

Snape decided he couldn’t stay here all night, as he slowly made his way from the confined space.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to finally step out of there Snivellus” the familiar voice sung out behind him.

Mocking him.

No.

This couldn’t be happening.

Snape’s eyes widened as he felt James grab him by the shoulder before throwing him against the wall.

“It’s about time you learnt your lesson, Snivellus” the boy chuckled as he held the young Slytherin against the wall.

Snape expected the usual from James but, this time felt different somehow.

Normally he would show off to his friends at Snape’s expense.

This time however, his friends were nowhere to be seen.

Snape gasped as he felt a hand slide over his groin.

Now he had a fair idea what was going to happen, and it explained why James didn’t want his friends to hang around.

He hated this boy, first he stole Lily away from him and now he was about to take his virginity.

“Now now, Snivellus, you’re lucky that I am willing to do this to you” James chuckled before starting at Snape’s belt.

“Do you know why that is?” James continued, as pushed the Slytherin harder against the wall, stifling any struggles the boy put up.

Snape remained silent as he tried to shove James off of him.

“Because no one else would ever want to fuck you” James whispered into the boy’s ear, the words going straight into Snape’s heart as his struggle diminished.

“I don’t particularly want to fuck you either but, I am rather bored” James laughed as he added insult to injury.

Snape felt his trousers fall to his ankles before feeling something hard press against his opening.

No.

He couldn’t allow this to happen!

Snape tried to squirm his way out of the Gryffindor’s hold but it was no use as he felt the man invade his body.

 

The professor was jolted back to his reality of grading students papers.

He couldn’t do it anymore, as he shoved the pile to the other side of the table, before holding his head in his hands.

He couldn’t stop the tears from falling as he blatantly wept. Something he should have done years ago.

He never dared to tell anyone, there was only one other person on the whole earth, that definitely knew about it.

But he couldn’t face him either.

Somehow he suspected Dumbledore knew.

Then again, that was no surprise, the old fool knew everything.


	20. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for choosing to read my story :) I hope you all enjoy it :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all your kudos and comments :)
> 
> And sorry in advance for all the mistakes that I've bound to have missed!
> 
> Enjoy!

Snape managed to get about an hours sleep during the night at best, it helped that crying had tired him out so much he supposed, before deciding to glance at the clock.

He wasn’t ready to face another day as he forced himself from his bed.

He felt like hell as he summoned a cup of coffee with is wand, he didn’t feel like making it the long way this morning.

He needed to talk to someone, but who would relate? He knew Harry would, but he didn’t want to burden him with more rape stories, it’s like he didn’t have enough of his own.

There was one other, but he didn’t exactly want to talk to him, after all they hadn’t really discussed it since it happened. Besides, they were never close friends, and trying to find him now…

Well…

Not likely.

Snape shook the thought from his mind as he began to get ready for class.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry had mixed feelings about potion’s class today and to be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure Snape would turn up to teach it. The poor man was in such a state last night, he’d never seen him like that before. He hoped he was okay.

There had to be something in that memory that shocked him…

But, then again, it’s not like he hadn’t seen Harry in worse predicaments.

But, then why did he keep saying the memory wasn’t it?

He really needed to talk to him.

To get to the bottom of this.

It was his next class, so he would just go and talk to him at the end of the lesson.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry felt the anxiety build inside his heart as he approached the familiar classroom.

The young wizard was relieved as his eyes beheld Severus Snape.

Thank god.

Harry sighed as he entered the classroom before locking his gaze onto the man.

The professor looked subdued, and Harry could tell that he hadn’t had much sleep. The young wizard felt sorrow strike his heart as he watched the man stand from his desk.

“I am handing back the results of your test” Snape stated plainly, not waiting for the final students to sit down before handing out the pieces of paper.

The professor stalled in front of Harry’s desk, drawing out the process of passing the paper to him for as long as could.

Harry offered the potions master an encouraging smile, before receiving an attempt at a smile in return.

He then moved onto the next student as Harry’s eyes lingered on him.

A few moments passed in silence as everyone looked over their test papers.

“What?!” Hermione looked at her paper, the big cross next to the first answer drawing her upmost attention.

“Professor” the witch began as she raised her hand, trying to gain the man’s attention.

Snape didn’t need to be psychic to know what this was about.

“Read the comment, Miss Granger” Snape stated plainly, not bothering to turn around as he headed back to his desk.

Hermione’s eyes darted back to the paper before her.

“What’s that? A wrong answer? You?” Ron pulled a face as he leaned over to see the witch’s parchment, he tried supressing his laugh as he scrutinised the writing. The redhead did his best not to crack up laughing at Snape’s comment, but failed miserably.

“Ronald!” Hermione snatched her paper away from his view, as she felt the eyes of everyone in the class on her.

Snape felt a pang of guilt as he watched the commotion from the corner of his eyes. Technically there wasn’t really anything wrong with her answers, except for the fact she didn’t read the question properly, or just simply couldn’t help herself.

“Today, you will be brewing a poison antidote potion. Turn to page fourteen in your books.”

Harry opened to the page in his book, his eyes wandering over Snape’s notes. It’s funny how even after all these years, the books were still the same as they were a few years ago.

The young wizard had already decided that, after reading through Snape’s notes, there was no way he was going to be buying his own copy.

This one was far too valuable.

That is of course, if Snape didn’t mind.

The remainder of the lesson went on uneventfully until Snape dismissed the class.

Harry deliberately took his time to pack up his stuff, before telling Ron and Hermione that he would meet them later.

The young wizard waited until he was the only student remaining in the room, before making his way to the professors desk.

“Harry, I owe you an explanation for last night” Snape began, not waiting for his student to reach his desk.

“It’s okay, I understand, my memories shocked you” Harry whispered, feeling a pang of guilt strike his heart that the professor also had to, in a way, experience it.

“No Harry, it’s more than that” Snape stalled before glancing down at his desk.

“What is it?” Harry whispered softly, before going to his knees, next to the professor. He wanted Snape to know that he was here for him, just like how the professor had been there for him, inhis own darkest hour.

Although, he didn’t know what use he could be to the professor.

“Your memories…” Snape began, before his voice started shaking.

“They reminded me of some of my own memories, memories I’d much rather forget” the professor’s gaze turned away from the boy as he stared out the window, as if doing so would free his mind from its current constraints.

“Your own memories? You mean…” Harry began, not wanting to make the man feel worse by saying it out loud.

“Yes, Harry, what happened to you, also happened to me” Snape’s voice quivered as he refused to take his eyes away from the window.

Harry went silent, he wasn’t sure quite what to say, as he focused his gaze at a quill resting on Snape’s desk.

“I also owe you an apology” the professor began.

“I know I have treated you unfairly in the past, excessively so” Snape sighed, fighting the tears. He couldn’t let them fall, not now.

“It’s okay”

“No, Harry, it’s not okay” Snape finally turned to face the young wizard.

“I thought you would be like your father, arrogant, lazy, but I see now I was wrong. You are humane, gentle, kind and courageous. I punished you for the sins of your father, for the things he did to me, and it wasn’t your burden to bare”.

“It shouldn’t have been your burden either” the young wizard didn’t know the whole story, but had a fair idea of what must have happened.

Harry wondered why Snape decided to bring up about his father, especially now of all times; and why mention him just after he admitted he had been raped?

Harry didn’t want to think too much into it, as a possibility formed in his mind.

“Do you have any more classes to teach today?” Harry whispered to the professor, before wrapping a reassuring arm around his shoulders. Snape flinched at the contact, not expecting it, but also not resisting it.

“No” Snape shook, his gaze locked onto the same quill that laid innocently on his desk.  

“Then, lets go and have a cup of tea together?” Harry suggested.

“What about your classes?” Snape’s tone returned to his usual teaching tone, as the thought of Harry skipping class became unacceptable, especially when it was on his account.

“Just this once, Severus” Harry smiled as the name slid from his tongue.  


	21. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! I really want these boys to enjoy a bath together but it would be weird if they suddenly just did it now… Patience is a virtue I guess…
> 
> Thank you all for your beautiful comments. It’s so lovely to hear from you all.

Harry took a seat on Snape’s comfortable couch as the man handed him a cup of tea.

“Thank you” Harry smiled as he accepted the warm cup in his fingers.

“Your welcome”

“Listen, if there’s anything I can do” Harry offered, not entirely sure how to reignite their earlier conversation.

Snape looked up at the young wizard as he sat down.

Harry really had the heart of his mother, along with her eyes.

He was kind, just like she was.

“Thank you Harry, I believe it will just be a matter of time” Snape closed his eyes, realising how stupid that sounded, after all, it had been 20 years and he was almost as affected now as when it happened.

Harry nodded, he wanted so much to put his hand over the professor’s, to squeeze it, as if doing so would make all his problems vanish.

A sudden knock at the door jolted Harry from his thoughts. He wasn’t sure what to do as the door flew open.

“I didn’t hear anything, so I decided to let myself in” Lucius’s voice reined into the room.

Harry recognised the man’s voice instantly.

Shit.

Not this guy.

“Dumbledore told me I might find you here” Lucius eyes searched though the room as he made no attempt to hide the judgement held with in them.

“Well it is of course, _my_ chambers, why wouldn’t I be here?” Snape stated the obvious, hoping by some miracle the blonde wouldn’t notice Harry Potter sitting on his couch.

In his chambers.

Having a cup of tea.

What good cover story could he make for that? Especially one Lucius would actually believe. He couldn’t exactly tell the blonde he was teaching Harry how to block out Voldemort. That would go straight back to the dark lord and his cover would be blown. Then again, he didn’t know what to think anymore, he just wanted the dark lord vanquished.

What other reason…

Snape’s brain drew a blank as nothing came to mind.

“I brought someone who wished to see you” a malicious smile danced on Lucius’s lips as he turned back toward the door.

“Come now, Draco”

Great.

And it gets worse.

Harry slumped down in his seat, as if doing so would make himself less obvious to the unwelcomed visitors.

Snape stood from his seat before heading to the other side of the room, in a hopeful attempt at dragging the men’s gazes away from Harry’s direction.

“Why did you humiliate me the other day, in front of Potter and his stupid friends?” Draco barged in, aiming his finger at the professor in an accusatory manner.

“Now now, Draco” Lucius smiled proudly at his son.

“Do mind your manners, you are a Malfoy after all”

“To which incident do you refer?” Snape stated coldly, not taking his eyes off of the blonde boy.

“You know which one!” Draco all but yelled at the professor before stepping closer.

“Now now, Draco” Lucius taunted, jutting his cane out before the boy.

Harry felt sorry for the potions professor. His life wasn’t easy, and the young wizard never realised just how difficult it was and how lonely the man must be because of it.

He gets it from both sides and is expected just to deal with it. The other teachers and a lot of students resented him because of his death eater past, while the death eaters hate him because he works so closely with Dumbledore.

No wonder he spent so much time on his own.

Harry slouched down even further on the couch, until he was almost laying down on it. He really didn’t want Snape to inherit another barrage of questions at his expense.

“If you are referring to the incident in potions class the other day, perhaps you should rethink the way you behave and then you may not get singled out” the professor stated factually.

Snape knew Lucius and Draco were not going to like his answer but this could be his last straw for the day.

“Why how dare you speak to me this way!” Draco growled at the man indignantly before storming from the professor’s chambers.

One problem gone.

“You best be careful what you say Severus, or else you may lose favour” Lucius gave Snape a disapproving glare before following in his son’s footsteps.

Second problem gone.

Snape let out an audible sigh of relief as he heard the door slam shut.

“Are you okay?” Harry whispered as he stepped closer to the professor, wanting nothing more than to engulf him in a hug.

Snape hadn’t even heard him get up off the couch, then again the boy had to be good at sneaking around after these past few years.

“Always” Snape mumbled, the sarcasm rife in his voice, before feeling arms encircle his body. The professor seized up at the action, not expecting it at all. It had been so long since he had received human embrace, come to think of it, he couldn’t recall a time when he had, at all.

“What would make you feel better?” Harry whispered, feeling the man begin to shake, as if on the verge of tears.

“This is” Snape’s voice was barely audible as Harry tightened his hold around the man.

 

XOXOXOX

 

“Where the hell were you?” Ron squinted his eyes as he tried to make out the figure in the dark. He knew it was Harry, he didn’t really know why he bothered to look.

“Occlumency lessons” Harry lied, as he made a b line for his bed.

“This whole time? But Harry! You missed dinner! Not to mention that it’s almost one in the morning!” Ron whispered, only, it wasn’t really a whisper.

“Shh Ron! You’ll wake everyone up” Harry hushed his best friend as he climbed into bed. Although he feared it was too late for that…

“Sorry for caring, geez” Ron mumbled before laying back down on his bed.

The raven haired wizard knew he wouldn’t sleep much, as he fumbled around trying to locate his pajamas.

He eventually decided it was too hard, besides, at this rate, he would wake everyone else up himself, never mind Ron.

Harry shook his head before deciding it was easier just to strip down to his underwear.

His mind drifted back to Snape as he climbed into bed. He couldn’t believe he spent all those hours holding the man as he sobbed.

He was amazed how close the two had grown, there was a time Snape NEVER would have let anyone see him cry, especially not Harry Potter.

Harry figured they both must have fallen asleep around nine o’clock and woken up just before now.

Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy waking up next to the man. There was a beauty in him that he had never seen in anyone before. He was so strong, disciplined, determined and yet his heart was one of the kindest and sincere ones he’d ever known.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Part of Snape wished Harry hadn’t woken up and had stayed sleeping by his side for entire night. The boy drew happiness into his heart, every time he laid eyes on him. He was the constant in his life.

Snape felt a huge chunk of the his burden lifted from him.

But even so, there was no way he could ever tell Harry that it was his father who raped him.

He couldn’t do that to the boy.

That wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair at all.

Snape shook his head, before realising what he had to do. Dread filled his heart as he made his way for the headmaster’s office. He needed to seek out the one person who already knew the whole story. The one who had found him, all those years ago. In that state. Snape cringed at the thought.

Unfortunately, the only one likely to know his whereabouts was Dumbledore.

Snape’s heart filled with trepidation as he approached the dreaded gargoyle.

“Sherbet Lemon” the professor mumbled before watching the demon move aside.

Snape’s heart pounded as he attempted to compose himself, before climbing onto the moving staircase.

“Ah Severus, quite the surprise” Dumbledore smiled from his desk.

Snape’s eyes searched the room to ensure there were no eavesdroppers, before stepping toward the old wizard.

“Headmaster. I need to seek out Remus Lupin, I have something, after all, that belongs to him” Snape lied as he spoke to the old wizard.

“Is that so?” Dumbledore gazed down at the professor, the doubt rampant in his eyes.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you there Severus”.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know where he is myself”.

Dumbledore knew, and Snape knew that he knew.

“Then I shall try to seek him out myself” Snape muttered before turning around to leave.

“Severus, if I may” the headmaster began.

“May what?” Snape stated coldly, masking the urge to bite back.

“Suggest another solution”.

The professor turned on his heel to face the headmaster.

“Give the item to Mr Potter, as I believe he is in contact with Sirius Black. I’m sure Sirius can get it to Remus”.

 _Great_.

He didn’t want to involve Sirius Black, after all, they were never exactly friends. Not that there was actually anything to give Remus.

But perhaps…

A possibility sprung into Snape’s mind and it may just work.

“Thank you headmaster” the professor turned toward the door before striding out.

He needed to borrow Hedwig. The owl would surely be able to locate Remus directly.

Snape mentally kicked himself at not having thought of that earlier.


	22. Redemption

 Remus watched, as a very familiar owl flew through the kitchen window, before dropping a letter on to the dining room table.

The werewolf smiled as he walked toward the parchment, excited to finally receive a letter from Harry.

Only, as he collected the envelope in his fingers, it wasn’t Harry’s handwriting. Although, he did recognise the writing, but where had he seen it before?

Remus tore the envelope open, before extracting the letter.

 

Dear Remus,

I wish to see you, should you be able to find the time. I require your assistance in resolving a past memory that I have been avoiding. Recent events have caused this memory to be foremost in my mind and I feel I cannot avoid it.

Yours Sincerely,

Severus

 

Snape? This was certainly unexpected indeed.

He didn’t need any more details to know what this was about. It was twenty odd years ago, but Remus remembered it like it was yesterday. A soft spot had always existed in his heart for the potions professor because of it.

The werewolf folded the parchment up before putting it back in the envelope.

But recent events? What recent events?

Remus shook his head before closing his eyes. Deep down inside he knew this day would come, or at least hoped it would. Severus needed to face it, it was the only way to truly get over it.

They were all lucky it hadn’t been a full moon that night as Remus allowed himself to delve into the memory.

 

“Where is he?” Sirius called out to James as he watched the wizard stalk towards them from the whomping willow.

“I taught him a lesson, suffice it to say, he won’t be following us ever again” James chuckled before walking past the group, expecting them to follow without hesitation.

Peter joined in the laughing as he and Sirius trailed James without thought.

Remus stalled, he wanted to know, no, needed to know what James had done to the Slytherin. If for no other reason, than it wasn’t safe to go wandering around the shrieking shack or dark forest at night.

“Are you coming?” James called out, very slight malice tracing through his words.

“You go on ahead”

“No. He will be fine. I taught him a lesson is all, now come on!” James reinforced his authority as Remus slowly began after his cohorts.

The werewolf laid in his warm bed, the safety and comfort of the castle surrounding him. But something didn’t sit right.

Severus…

What exactly did James do to him?

He knew his friend well, at least well enough to be able to tell when he was hiding something.

James had done something bad to Severus, his gut feeling told him so.

He would never be able to rest until he knew.

Remus got up quietly before throwing his coat on and making his way out of the castle.

The werewolf felt apprehensive about what he would discover in the place that, only earlier that very night, they were plotting their next exploit.

He tried to shake the feeling from his bones, as he made his way into the shrieking shack tunnel.

Remus stopped at what sounded like crying in the distance.

Was that…?

Snape?

It must have been close to two in the morning and the young Slytherin was still here?

The werewolf drew closer until he began to see him, instead of just hearing him.

Snape must of heard something, as he forced his sobs to diminish.

“Who’s there?” the boy cried out, his voice fragile and raw from crying.

“It’s just me, Remus” the werewolf whispered as he continued to approach Snape.

He could see Severus try to move away but was tripped up by something around his ankles.

Remus stopped at the sight that beheld his eyes.

Snape had dried up blood down his thighs, and he realised now what tripped him up earlier, his trousers.

“N-no! Stay away!” Severus tried to crawl away from the werewolf.

“I’m not here to hurt you Severus” Remus tried to stop the shock from setting in as he slowly approached the Slytherin.

He couldn’t believe James had done this. He knew James had been mean to Severus over the years but, he never expected this.

No wonder he didn’t want him to go back and check on Snape.

“Here, let me help you, it’s just me. There’s no one else here” Remus tried to comfort Severus before kneeling down next to him.

“N-no, don’t look at me” Snape turned away from Remus as he succumbed to the shame inside his heart.

“It’s okay Severus, don’t feel ashamed, what James did to you is unforgivable” Remus tried to reassure the Slytherin as he reached for his shoulder.

The man was shaking. Terribly. And was obviously on the brink of more tears.

“Here” Remus whispered before grasping the belt of Snape’s trousers.

Severus flinched at the contact, but allowed the man to help him pull his trousers up.

Remus hesitated as his eyes fell on the dark bruises plastering Snape’s hips and thighs.

James had been savage.

Of that he had no doubt.

The werewolf felt Snape wince as the belt tightened over the bruises.

“I need to take you to Madam Pomphrey” Remus suggested as he wrapped the Slytherin’s arm around his shoulders, before drawing him to his feet.

“No!” true terror flashed across Snape’s eyes at the prospect.

“But Severus, your bleeding”

“I will take care of it myself”

Remus looked at him before realising he probably could look after himself better than some of the teachers even could. After all, he was a potions expert. Remus decided to respect Snape’s desire to retain what dignity he had left, as he helped carry him to the Slytherin dungeon.

“T-thank you” Severus whispered, almost silently as Remus laid him down on a common room couch.

“Look, I’m truly sorry that James did this to you” Snape could perceive the sincerity in the Gryffindor’s eyes as he nodded.

“I know”.


	23. Truth

Snape dropped a pile of test papers on his dining table before rubbing his face in fatigue. He really didn’t feel like marking all these papers, especially not tonight. The man sighed before summoning a cup of tea with his wand.

He pulled a seat out before sitting down and withdrawing a quill.

A knock on Snape’s door was a welcome distraction as he rose to his feet.

Who could this be?

Harry perhaps?

Lucius or Draco? The professors face screwed up at the thought, suddenly not wanting to open the door.

Or it could be worse again…

Dumbledore.

Only one way to find out.

Snape turned the handle before pulling the door towards him.

His eyes widened at the sight before him.

“Remus?”

“Is now a good time Severus?” the werewolf offering the man a smile.

“Of course, come in” Snape stated, surprised the man had turned up so soon after he sent the letter.

“Tea?”

“Please”

 Snape nodded before summoning another cup of the popular liquid.

“Now, we both know why I’m here” Remus began, cutting to the chase as he took a seat at the table.

“Indeed” Snape sighed as he sat down also, before collecting his cup in his fingers.

“You got my letter then?” it came out more as a statement than a question.

“I have to say it was a surprise, but a pleasant one, none the less” Remus gave the man a comforting smile.

“I often look back and wondered if I shouldn’t have told someone, but now, I’m not so sure.” Snape began delving as his gaze returned to the stack of parchment that he had yet to mark.

“What makes you say that? You know I always urged you to” Remus leaned in closer to the man.

“But he was your friend? Would you really want to see your friend dragged through the mud?”

“For that? Yes. James was capable of a lot of things, Severus. Although, that being said, I may not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it. It certainly changed my opinion of him, after all, how could it not?”

“Exactly. Who would have listened to the dark arts obsessed maniac Snivillus, when the great and popular James Potter was being scandalized? Reporting it would have only alienated me more than I already was”.

“You know I would have gone in to bat for you, right?” Remus grasped the professors forearm out of instinct, causing the man to flinch.

“Easy to say now. The younger version of myself would have been suspicious. Almost paranoidly so.”

“Understandably. That night changed how I saw my friend, I remained very wary of him over the years you know”.

“But you still chose to spend time with him?”

Remus looked down, the shame reflected in his body language as he slumped forward.

“Yes, Severus. I did and I can’t say that I’m proud, because I’m not”.

Snape didn’t know what to say as he watched the man.

“I do have a question for you though, Severus” Remus begun as he looked up at the potions professor.

“Yes?”

“You spoke in your letter of ‘events’ than brought all this back up? What’s happened exactly?”

Snape glanced away, suddenly regretting writing that like in his letter. He knew it wasn’t his place to tell Remus what had happened to Harry, even if the two were friends.

“It’s not my secret to tell” the potions professor murmured, before climbing to his feet.

“So it’s the same event but happened to someone else?”

“Very sharp Mr Lupin”

“Who?”

“As I said before, it’s not for me to say”

“Is it someone I know?” Remus pried, refusing to let the subject go until he had an answer.

Snape sighed before wondering if Remus couldn’t help Harry also.

“Yes” the professor whispered, before realising that acknowledging the man’s question would only lead to more questions.

“It’s not Harry, is it?” Remus stood before taking a step toward the man.

How did he get that so quickly? Had it been that obvious?

Snape turned to face the werewolf.

His hesitation must have given it away.

“It is, isn’t it?” the man paced before continuing.

“I always knew him staying with the Dursleys was an awful idea” Remus shook his head, visibly disappointed in himself for not noticing sooner.

“Agreed”

“He’s not going back there in the next break is he?”

“If Dumbledore has his way, he will be”

“Dumbledore? But I thought he wanted to protect Harry?”

“From the dark lord yes, but from his uncle? Apparently not”.

“How do you know all this?”

“Because” Snape hesitated again, before looking down at his sheep skin rug.

“Please Severus, I need to know”

Snape waved his hand in front of his face, as if willing the imminent tears away.

“Because, I” the man’s voice was broken and raw as he tried to summon the words.

“What is it Severus?” Remus leaned in closer before wrapping his arm around the man’s shoulders.

Snape winced again at the contact. He was pretty certain he was never going to get used to it.

Remus felt his heart sink at Snape’s reaction, but every part of him understood why the man shied away from human contact.

“I should never have allowed him to go back. I should have done more to stop it, but Dumbledore, he was so adamant”

“What do you mean Severus?”

“His uncle almost killed him” Snape was a mess as he released the words to Remus.

“W-what?!”

“He tried to strangle him to death”

“B-but Harry never told me any of this? Why didn’t he tell me?” Remus turned around, his face plastered with disbelief.

“How do you know this Severus?” the desperation laced through the werewolf’s words.

“Because I, stopped him”

A silence fell between them, only growing with each passing second.

“How?”

“Dumbledore tipped me off that Harry might be in a bit of a predicament” Snape turned to face the man before continuing.

“A predicament he allowed to happen, I might add” Snape shook his head before continuing.

“I went to the Dursley’s house and found Harry at the mercy of his wretched uncle. He was violating him and had his hands around the boy’s neck”

Remus couldn’t believe the words he was hearing as he took a step back, his mouth hanging open.

“I have to go find him, I have to make sure he is okay!” Remus turned to leave before feeling Snape’s fingers grasp his forearm.

“You cannot!”

“Why not?!”

“Because he would never trust me again, if he ever learnt you knew”.

“He wont know you told me”

“Yes. He will. No one else knows. I value the close friendship we have formed too much to jeopardize it” Snape refused to let go of the man’s forearm, suddenly regretting telling the werewolf.

“You have formed a close friendship with Harry?”

“Yes”

Remus made no attempt to mask the confusion in his eyes as he tried to behold the thought.  

“I am surprised Severus, I never thought I would have seen the day. I thought you hated the boy”.

“Please” Snape whispered pleadingly.

“I will pay him a visit, but I won’t say anything. I promise”


	24. Friends Forever

Harry pulled a book from the shelf before gently placing it on a nearby desk. It was late and he still had so much research to do.

Maybe he should change his name to Hermione. He felt like he was becoming more and more like her with every visit to the library.

He shook his head before dragging the seat out from the table and sitting on it.

“Harry?”

The young wizard was sure he’d heard his name, but who else would be here this late? He brushed it off as he opened the book before him.

“Harry?”

Okay, he definitely heard something that time.

The young wizard looked up from the pages before him, his eyes glancing around the vacant library.

He raised his eyebrow in confusion, before noticing the outline of someone draw closer to him.

The person looked familiar, not to mentioned sounded familiar. He felt delirious, he should have just gone to bed and just copied Hermione’s in the morning.

“Harry, it’s me, Remus”

“Remus?” a smile grew on the young wizards lips as he beheld the man before him. Perhaps it was worth staying up after all.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked, curiosity lacing his words as he stood to embrace the man.

“Just visiting an old friend is all, I figured I’d find you here”.

“An old friend? Who is that?” Harry tried to rattle his brain, the only friends he knew of were James – who was dead, Sirius – who, if he valued his life, would be no where near the school, and Peter, who just, actually wasn’t his friend.

“Hagrid” Remus lied, hoping that would put a stop to further inquisitions.

“Hagrid? I didn’t know you were such close friends?” Harry narrowed his eyes in confusion.

“Yes, well, life’s full of surprises, isn’t it” Remus chuckled, hoping that was the end of that.

“Well, it’s great to see you” Harry smiled before sitting back down at his table, relieved when Remus pulled out a chair across from him.

“I’m not interrupting important study am I?”

“Important study? No, it’s fine” Harry smiled before closing the book in front of him.

“It must be great to be back at school”

“Yes”

“Back with all your friends again”

“Yes”

“How are the Dursleys, Harry?”

There is was. Remus watched as the fear flashed briefly across Harry’s eyes. The young wizard did well to quickly mask it from being obvious.

It was true then. All the things Severus had said.

“They’re okay”

“They don’t make life easy do they?”

Harry simply shook his head.

“You’d tell me, if something was wrong, wouldn’t you Harry?” Remus leaned forward, trying to lock eyes with the young wizard.

Harry sunk his teeth into his lip, why would Remus just suddenly appear like this? And why would he just randomly ask him about his home life…? It was no secret that his home life sucked, but why now?

He knew Remus only meant well but was he that obvious? Could everyone tell that something was wrong? Were people whispering about him?

Could everyone tell just from looking at him that he’d been raped?

“What do you know?” Harry spat out, trying to contain his anger as he spoke to the werewolf.

Remus wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Should he be coy with the boy, and say he just looks worn out? Or perhaps be blunt, get to the root cause of the problem, but then again, Harry looked to get quite defensive. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin any strains of a salvaged friendship with Severus.

Perhaps now wasn’t the best time…

“You look tired is all my dear boy, I can’t have you expending yourself too much, after all, you’ve only been back for a few days” Remus chuckled, trying to make light of the situation, praying the boy would buy it.    

Harry forced a smile at the man’s words, but he wasn’t entirely convinced by them to believe them.

“So how was Hagrid?”

“Hmm?” Remus looked confused, before suddenly remembering his lie.

Great back here again.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry laid in his bed, he was exhausted but his mind refused to embrace sleep.

That visit from Remus had shaken him up.

He must know…

Why else would he allude to the events of home?

But how?

The only one that knew was Snape…

But Snape and Remus weren’t exactly friends right? After all, Remus was a friend of his father’s.

Harry sighed before realising something…

He was back to square one.

Perhaps it was just obvious…

But then, how come Ron and Hermione hadn’t said anything? Especially Hermione?

Not much escapes her gaze, after all.

Harry shook the thoughts from his mind as he turned over. 

The young wizard’s mind began to wonder yet again.

This time, to the conversation he had had with Snape.

Why had the man talked about his own rape and then his father soon after?

That had seemed to him more than simply a coincidence…

Surely not? Then again, he never really knew his father, who knew what he was capable of?

On the other hand, maybe he was just reading too much into this?  
  


	25. Harsh Truths of The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your kind comments and kudos! I love them all! every single one of them :)
> 
> Also, sorry for any mistakes in this chapter! I'm sure there's a few, dare I say!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy! :)

“No, not me Harry, I never got a visit from ole Remus last night” Hagrid looked at the boy, a confused expression plastered to his face, as if wondering if maybe he had and just didn’t remember.

No.

He would most definitely remember something like that.

“Are you sure?” Harry squinted at the giant through his glasses.

“Yes Harry, now run along, you don’t want to be late for your next lesson” Hagrid gave the young wizard a stern look, well, as stern as Hagrid could possibly make it appear.

“Can I just ask you something while I’m here?” the young wizard decided to push his luck.

“Of course Harry, you’ll need to make it quick though, don’t want to get you in trouble an’ all.”

“Did you know my father?” Harry jumped straight to the point, before wrapping his fingers around the handle of his enormous tea cup and drawing it to his lips.

“Yes Harry, and your mother” Hagrid nodded as the words left his mouth.

“What’s brought this on all of a sudden?”

“N-nothing” Harry lied, avoiding the giants gaze as he wondered how to actually answer that question.

“Come now Harry, what is it?”

“Was my father…” the wizard began before stalling, his eyes darting between Fang and his cup of tea.

“Was your father what, Harry?” Hagrid pushed the young wizard, wanting to get to the bottom of what was bothering him.

“Mean?” he almost spat the word, as if doing so was the only way he could make it leave his lips.

“Mean?” Hagrid repeated, collecting the word in his mind before deciding if it was an accurate description of the man.

“Well, your father was very popular Harry, and with popularity comes power. Some times people struggle to handle that and it goes to their head”.

Harry nodded, not surprised by the giants words.

“Do you think he would be capable of doing serious harm to someone?”

“Serious harm? Of course not Harry!” Hagrid chuckled, making light of the comment, but his eyes betrayed him, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the young wizard.

“I know that my father and professor Snape weren’t friends, but was he ever mean to him? Like really mean?”

“My, look at the time!” Hagrid chuckled as he stood from the table, raising his wrist as he made a show of looking at his watch. Harry doubted his eyes actually noticed the time.

“Please Hagrid, I need to know” Harry’s eyes locked with the giant’s, brimming with determination.

Hagrid knew there was no getting rid of the young wizard that easily.

“Alright Harry” Hagrid sighed before returning to his seat.

“He used to bully Snape, a lot. Humiliate him, in front of the other students, felt bad for the boy really. Had to intervene a few times see” Hagrid began, toying nervously with his tea cup.

“It’s no surprise Snape turned out the way he did, kept to himself a lot, he did. Made him an easy target really. He was smart, Snape was. I think your father was jealous of that, that and his affection towards your mother”

“Affection toward my mother?” Harry repeated the words out loud, as if the taste of the words was foreign to his tongue.

“Yes Harry.” Hagrid stalled, as if contemplating whether to keep going.

“I’ve told you this much, what’s a little more I s’pose” Hagrid sighed with a slight chuckle before continuing on.

Harry’s eyebrows were furrowed, his gaze searching the room but registering nothing. Snape liked his mother?

 “Oh yes, Snape loved her for years, prob’ly still does. James could see that, that’s why he wouldn’t leave Snape alone.”

Harry froze.

It all made sense now.

Everything.

His father was a bully.

It was a reality he didn’t want to acknowledge but knew there was no running from it.

“T-thanks Hagrid” Harry nodded to the giant before climbing to his feet and heading for the door.

“Hey, Harry!” the giant quickly rose, bumping the table, and knocking everything over as a result. He tried to chase after the young wizard, but soon realised the futility of his efforts.

“I’ve gotta get to class, see you later Hagrid” Harry lied as he bolted up the hill, back towards the castle.

That’s who raped Snape that night. It was his father.

Harry winced at the revulsion penetrating his mind, a disgust so strong, it would leave a permanent, bitter after taste... It was the first time in his life when he was actually ashamed to be a potter.

He had to go and see Snape.

But what would he say?

Harry halted at the entrance to the castle.

He  didn’t know what he was thinking. He couldn’t go and see Snape yet. He would be teaching the second years how to brew a sleeping draught most likely. Besides, he wanted a good chunk of time with the man, he couldn’t afford for the next class to walk in, right at a crucial point in the conversation. Not that he didn’t have a class of his own to attend.

Harry hung his head, as he meandered towards divination. It was a class he could afford to be late to, or just miss altogether. Perhaps he should? After all, there’s nothing worse than stumbling into class late and feeling everyone’s eyes on you.

Besides, he needed time to think.

Harry let out a sigh before wondering if Remus was still on the grounds of the school. He needed to talk to him, he needed to ask about his father, and Remus would know him better than most.

 


	26. Nothing Left To Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kudos and kind comments :)
> 
> I’ve had this 90 percent done for ages and just couldn’t quite finish it until now. I’m not sure I’m happy with it though lol but nevermind.
> 
> Anyway, so sorry for the late update!
> 
> Please enjoy :)

Harry headed straight for his dormitory, he needed to find out where Remus was, hoping the ex professor was still on the grounds.

The young wizard climbed the stairs before finally reaching his dormitory. He searched through all his things before finally locating it.

The Marauders Map.

Harry quickly opened the parchment before scrutinizing its pages. He didn’t have to look hard before locating the werewolf in the great hall. The young wizard roughly folded the map before stuffing it in his pocket.

He had to make for the great hall at once.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Remus drew the cup of coffee to his lips, taking a sip before wincing as the liquid burnt his tongue.

“Remus” Harry called, his voice barely above a whisper as he approached the old defence against the dark arts teacher.

“Harry? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” the werewolf looked up at the young wizard before greeting him with a warm smile.

“Can we go somewhere, to talk?” Harry made no effort to hide the serious tone in his voice.

“Of course, Harry” Remus nodded, indicating toward the seat next to him.

“Would we be able to somewhere, private?”

“Of course Harry, whereabouts did you have in mind?”

“How about down by the boat sheds?” the young wizard suggested as he watched Remus climb to his feet.

“Right, lets go” Remus nodded as the two made their way as far away from prying ears as possible.

“What’s this all about Harry?” the curiosity getting to Remus as they began descending down the notorious amount of stairs.

“I, ah, wanted to know something, and I figured you’d be one of the best people to ask” Harry began, suddenly feeling awkward about broaching the subject with the man.

“Fire away Harry!”

“Would you be able to tell me about my father” Harry asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“What would you like to know specifically?” Remus questioned, doing well to hide the suspicion in his eyes, as he tried to narrow down what precisely, the young wizard wanted to know.

“Do you believe my father would be capable of doing something horrible to someone else?”

“Like what specifically?”

Harry didn’t want to say it, doing so would make the possibility all the more a reality.

The silence was answer enough to Remus.

“What’s brought this on Harry?”

“Nothing, I just want to know” Harry lied as the two reached the bottom of the stairway. Remus shot the wizard a sceptical gaze before stalling.

“Tell me the truth, I can tell your hiding something”

“I don’t think your ready for the truth” Remus sighed, hoping his words would deter the boy but knowing they would only ignite his hunt for the truth.

“I believe I already know” Harry stated, he wasn’t about to let the subject go and they both knew it.

“Alright, what do you know” Remus pushed, not wanting Harry to jump tot the wrong conclusion, but also not wanting to give him more information than what was necessary.

“I think he raped someone” Harry blurted out, knowing if he didn’t force the words from his lip, they would never leave.

Remus flinched, before closing his eyes.

So much for that then.

“Why do you say that?” Remus cringed, trying not to let on that he knew more, after all, Harry seemed particularly perceptive today.

The young wizard stalled, he didn’t know how to continue this conversation without giving away Snape’s secret.

“It happened to someone I know and I’m pretty certain my father had done it”.

Remus flinched. He knew Snape’s secret. But how? He highly doubted Snape would have divulged it to Harry.

Then again…

Snape was aware of Harry’s rape, so perhaps they’d talked? However, it didn’t seem likely, Snape was a fiercely private individual at the best of times.

Remus tossed up in his head what to do. He was aware he couldn’t take too long, otherwise Harry would get suspicious for sure. The boy already knew he was hiding something.

“Yes Harry”

Harry gasped at the werewolf’s blunt answer.

“And I think we both know who he did this to, and why all this has suddenly come up”

Harry turned to face Remus, their eyes locking, a silent exchange of words passed between them.

“I know about what Vernon Dursley did to you” Remus continued, watching as Harry’s eyes widened in disbelief.

No.

This couldn’t be.

“W-who told you?!” Harry could hardly contain his anger, he didn’t know why he bothered asking.

He knew who.

After all,

Who else knows about all this?

“Listen to me Harry” Remus grasped the boy’s shoulder, trying to calm the boy.

“He told you?! Why did he tell you?!”

“It was never his intention to tell me”

“How much did he tell you?!”

“Just that, no details. Please, let me help you Harry” He didn’t want to let go of the young wizard, afraid doing so would spell the end of their friendship.

“No. You wouldn’t understand!”

“Please Harry, what good am I to you if I can’t help you? Remus pleaded with the young wizard, suddenly wishing he had just kept his mouth shut.

“No!” Harry pulled away from the werewolf before storming away from the man.

“Harry! Wait!”


	27. Love Eternal

Harry kept running, as far as his legs would allow. He had to get away from Remus, from Snape, from everybody.

He needed time alone to think. He felt so betrayed by everyone.

Snape.

Remus.

But most of all, his father.

How cold he possibly think its okay to do that to someone?

And Dumbledore? Surely he must have known… Why didn’t he do anything about it?

Harry felt his legs give way under him, yet another thing to betray him as he felt his body collide against hard pebbles.

He looked up, his eyes falling on the great lake, he could spy Hogwarts in the distance, shrouded by fog.

Had he really ran halfway around the lake?

Harry tried to climb to his feet, but his body refused to obey.

His lungs striving for oxygen as he sat up, propping himself against a large rock.

Why had Snape told Remus? It wasn’t his secret to tell, did he do it on purpose? Maybe it was an accident…

But when had Snape every spent time socially with Remus…?

Or anyone for that matter.

Perhaps Remus had guessed off his own accord, but he said it was never Snape’s intention to tell him.

Which means…

Snape did tell him…

But Remus had confirmed the one thing he hoped he would deny.

His father was a rapist. And he raped Snape. No wonder the potions professor hated him so much.

But then how did Remus know about the rape?

Argh…

This was doing his head in…

Harry rubbed his temples, trying to calm his growing headache.

Perhaps was he just thinking too much?

 

XOXOXOX

 

Remus waited outside the potions classroom until every student had filed out of it. He was dreading having to tell Snape that he told Harry something he promised he wouldn’t.

But as he saw it, he had no choice.

He knew Harry would most likely confront Snape later on and he wanted to prepare him.

He had also come to appreciate the man.

Of course, he would never admit that to the potions professor.

“What is it Remus?” Snape drawled from behind his desk, as if bored, not bothering to glance up from the pile of parchment adorning his desk.

“Have you come for more wolfsbaine?”

“No, actually, I came to speak with you, about Harry” Remus began as his eyes gazed down at the professor.

“What about him?” Snape glanced up for the first time since the werewolf had entered the room.

“I, uh, may have told him something I shouldn’t have”.

Snape’s eyes narrowed against the man.

“You better not have told him that it was his father who-”

“Severus, what you have to understand is” Remus interrupted, trying to calm the professor down.

“Understand what Lupin?” Snape snarled as he stood from behind his desk.

“I believe he already knew”

“Already knew? Doubtful”

“He’s smarter than you give him credit for Severus, but that isn’t actually what I came to tell you”

“Go on”

Remus turned away from the wizard before continuing.

“I told him that, I know about what his uncle did to him” Remus stated, barely above a whisper.

“You did what?!” Snape’s face screwed up like a paper bag. A reaction Remus had been half expecting. Although he’d never seen the man loose control of his emotions.

Ever.

“What gave you the right to say that? Did you not hear what I said earlier?” Snape was furious and he made no effort to hide it and he clawed around the desk, drawing closer to Remus.

The werewolf flinched at the proximity of the man, before taking a step back.

“Do you not realise that Harry will never trust me again!” Snape was almost face to face with Remus, he knew his reaction was scaring the werewolf but that was kind of the point.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Harry watched as the sun began to set against the horizon. It was almost dark and he was still here, on the other side of the great lake.

He knew he had to get back but no part of him felt like moving.

Not to mention how much trouble he’d be in for missing half his classes.

Harry sighed as he pondered what to do. It was rather peaceful there.

Part of him wished he could live out the rest of his life there.

Never have to worry about a single thing again.

A faint smile grew on his lips at the thought.

But, he still had much to achieve in his life before he could rest.

The whole world depended on him, after all.

The sound of footsteps behind him broke him from his reverie.

He didn’t want to turn around. He knew it was most likely Remus, and he didn’t much feel like talking to him right now.

“Harry, are you alright?” Snape’s unmistakeable voice consumed his ears.

The young wizard turned to face the professor, not making an effort to mask his surprise.

“H-how did you find me?”

“Remus told me you ran around the great lake”

A pang struck Harry’s heart at the man’s words. Was that… Guilt?

Here Snape was traipsing all around the lake, for possibly all afternoon, trying to find him.

And all for what? To make sure he was okay.

A smile grew on the boy’s lips.

Snape truly cared, but of course he did.

But then, there was something Harry still had to know.

“Why did you tell Remus about what my uncle did to me?”

Snape looked down at him, his eyes unwavering but slowly welling with sorrow.

“He guessed and I didn’t deny it. He’s also your friend Harry. He is there to help you, and he never truly could, if he was only given bits of information here and there.”  

Harry turned his gaze to a nearby pebble. He knew Snape was right.

“Come Harry, it’s cold out, I wouldn’t want you getting unwell”

The professor reached out to the boy, offering his hand.

A faint smile broke out on Harry’s lips as he accepted Snape’s hand.


	28. Good Tidings

Harry felt weathered.

He didn’t realised how much being outside for the better part of a day could take it out of him.

“A soak in that bath of yours would be perfect right about now” Harry tried to smile, but his nerves were getting the better of him. He wouldn’t normally be so forward, and invite himself around like that. Especially not to someone else’s bath, that was a bit more personal and intimate.

Harry cringed, now realising he should have kept that thought to himself.

“Indeed” Snape smirked, entertained by the boy’s sudden nerve, and then again, at how quickly he lost it.

“So, that settles it then?” the young wizard questioned, the presumptuousness returning to his words, as his desire for a bath grew.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Dumbledore stood at the edge of the balcony, his eyes falling on Snape and Harry as the two approached the castle.

They spent a lot of time together these days, although, that was not surprising really, considering they both had so much in common.

“What is it Mr Lupin?” Dumbledore asked, the agitated bite obvious in his voice, as he heard the werewolf approach from behind.

“It seems, recent events have awoken certain memories”.

Albus smiled, he didn’t need to ask, he knew what the werewolf was referring to.

“Indeed”.

“I have come across some rather distressing news Albus” Remus began, taking slow steps toward the headmaster.

“What is it Remus?” Dumbledore began, not taking his eyes off of Harry and Snape as they entered the castle below.

“You are aware of Harry’s home life?”

“Yes”.

“Were you aware that Vernon Dursley was abusing Harry?”

The headmaster remained quiet.

The silence was answer enough.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Remus’s tone turned cold and removed.

“Indeed”

“Why didn’t you stop it Albus? Why did it have to come to Severus Snape, of all people, to save him? Isn’t it up to you to protect him?”

“I would explain it to you Remus, but I’m not entirely sure you would grasp it”.

“Try me”.

“Very well” Dumbledore began, finally turning around to face the werewolf.

“Being the chosen one and having an abnormally large ego, are two things that tend to go hand in hand. Harry needs to remain humble if he is to not become like the dark lord himself”.

“Surely there are other ways Albus? This seems a bit excessive, he’s just a boy after all” there was a lot more Remus wanted to say, but he knew better than to second guess the most powerful wizard in the world.

“Yes, there are. But none are so likely to stay with him forever, as this will”.

Remus shook his head, he was out of words. Once the great Albus Dumbledore got his mind set to something, that was it.

That didn’t stop the werewolf from fantasizing about tearing the headmaster apart. It blew his mind that the old man would allow something like this to take place. It was outrageous! Criminal in fact. Perhaps Dumbledore had somewhat, lost his touch after all? Or, maybe his years really were catching up on him.

“But surely your not going to put him back with the Dursleys, are you?”

“That remains to be seen” Dumbledore stated bluntly, not giving anything away to the werewolf before him.

“What do you mean?” the headmasters words could mean so much, Remus simply had to get to the bottom of this.

“He appears to have formed a strong bond with Severus”

“I think we both know why that would be”

Dumbledore simply nodded, allowing his thoughts to dissolve through time.

“I did Severus a disservice all those years ago”.

“A lot more than a disservice, and now your doing it to Harry” Remus tried to remain calm, to control his outburst, but Dumbledore wasn’t making it easy.

“You do realise, Remus, to support Severus, would be to sacrifice James”.

“If someone does the crime, they deserve to be punished, you of all people should know that, Dumbledore”.

“I haven’t the time to discuss this now Remus, I have a meeting with the minister”.

The werewolf open his mouth to say something, only to watch the old wizard vanish in thin air.

 

XOXOXOXOX

 

Harry leaned near the edge of the water, watching as puffs of steam rose into the air. He couldn’t wait to get in, stifling another exhausted yawn before turning back to the professor.

“Just a minute, Potter” Snape drawled, withdrawing a tiny vial of strange liquid from his bath robes.

“W-what is that?”

“Fairy liquid” the words sounded so amusing coming from someone hell bent on being the defence against the dark arts teacher.

Harry tried desperately to contain his laughter, managing to suppress most of it, but cringing at the trace that escaped.

“What’s so funny?” Snape’s drawl filled the room as he opened the bottle, carefully pouring the liquid in.

“Nothing” Harry mumbled, his cheeks felt hot, he knew they would be bright red, but there wasn’t a lot he could do about it.

He knew the time was coming when he would need to take his clothes off, the idea would normally make him freeze up, go into panic mode, withdraw inside himself. But this, this felt different. He felt, for the first time since he could ever remember, comfortable.


	29. Bath Time!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg we're finally brinking on the verge of something naughty… !! It only took what... 29 chapters?
> 
> Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. I'll try to keep this story updated as much as i can :) I've just started back at work, which sadly eats into a lot of fanfiction writing time :(
> 
> Anyway i hope you all enjoy!

Remus shook his head, gazing at a serene night time view from the castle balcony. He didn't know what to think anymore. If he knew about this whole Harry situation and did nothing about it, than is he as bad as Dumbledore?

 

But what could he do about it? Kidnap Harry he supposed.

 

But that wouldn’t particularly solve the problem in the long run. He would most likely just wind up on trial by the ministry.

 

What was Dumbledore thinking? Remus shook his head once more before stepping away from the balcony. He wanted to speak with Snape but he was likely still mad at him, and with good reason too.

 

The werewolf shook his head in an attempt to strengthen his resolve.

 

He must just go and see the potion’s professor regardless.

 

 

xoxoxox

 

 

Harry smiled, the warm water before him transformig into a myriad of bubbles.

 

“Feel free to get in, I will join you shortly” Snape murmured, before turning around and waltzing from the bathroom. Harry felt a pang in his groin at the man's words.

 

Join him?

In the bath?

At the same time?

Why did the idea excite him so much?

Harry felt his breathing grow shallow as he began to pull his shirt over his head. It didn’t take long for a small pile of clothes to grow next to the bath.

He felt the warmth radiate into his flesh as his naked body sunk into the water. He closed his eyes, the relaxation seeping straight into his soul.

Harry heard a sound come through the door, but didn’t bother opening his eyes, his body and mind succumbing to the baths wiles.  

It wasn’t until he felt sullen movements across the water that he decided to pry his eyes open.

His gaze fell on Snape as the man sat next to him in the bath.

“Thank you” the words slipped from Harry’s lips as he beheld the man before him.

“What for?”

“Coming to find me”

The slight reminisce of a smile broke on the professors lips, but he remained silent.

“Why did you come looking for me?” Harry whispered, his voice wavering slightly as the question left his lips.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Snape murmured, turning to the boy, before grasping at a cluster of bubbles that rested on the surface.

Harry simply smiled, not knowing what to say as his heart radiated with a new found warmth.

The young wizard felt Snape draw closer, before watching as the professor reached for something near the bath.

Curiosity got the best of Harry as he tried to figure out what the man was gathering.

“Do you mind if I-?” Snape began, but had no intention of finishing that sentence, as he held up a lufer sponge and a bar of deliciously scented soap.

Harry nodded, his ability to summon words seemed to have escaped him, his eyes watching as the professor ground the soap against the sponge.

The boy closed his eyes once more as the heat continued to seep into his skin, only amplifying the relaxation effect on his body.

He felt warm hands grasp him, before drawing him closer. He felt his body instinctively lean into Snape’s, yet no part him flinched, or tried to escape, as the man began gently massaging the sponge against his skin.

He felt safe in this man’s arms, his body beginning to desire a bit more contact as he pushed himself back further.

Snape slid his hands around the boy’s chest, the sponge escaping his fingers as they craved something else.

Harry felt Snape’s hot breath on his neck, an action that redirected a large amount of blood straight to his groin. His body began to grind against the professor’s, his mind not even registering his actions as his desires grew almost out of control.

Harry felt Snape’s warm lips against his neck.

This was it, this was the defining moment. Their friendship had morphed into something more. It was obvious they both wanted it too, as Harry turned to face the professor.

No words were needed as Harry drew closer to the man, his lips pressing against Snape’s, before feeling his need grow stronger.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Remus had been knocking on Snape’s door for what had felt like an hour. In reality it had been only five minutes, a quick glance at his wristwatch confirmed the fact as he waited patiently.

Perhaps Snape wasn’t there? But he’d already checked his potions classroom and the great hall. If he was in neither of those places, then logic and a good knowledge of the man and his behaviours, would dictate that he would be here. After all, where else does Snape ever go?

Remus leaned against the door, before feeling it give way behind him. The werewolf quickly regained his composure before looking at the door curiously. It wasn’t like Snape to leave the door unlocked? That wasn’t like Snape at all. Perhaps he’d better check on the professor. Remus pushed the door the whole way open, stepping inside slowly before closing the door behind him.

The werewolf quickly glanced around the room, everything seemed in order.

Curious.

Snape’s chambers were certainly large, well, a lot larger than the one he had when he taught at the school last year.

A sudden sound caught Remus’s attention, his eyes darting towards another room.

Remus was caught halfway between bolting and pretending like he was never there, or being the brave Gryffindor.

Surprisingly, he decided on the later, as his feet stumbled towards the room.


	30. Untold Riches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super late update! I tried to make it a wee bit longer to make up for it! Once again, thank you for all your kudos and comments :)

Snape was sure he heard something, a noise, from inside his chambers. Surely not. But the thought was enough for him to hesitate, something that didn't go unnoticed by Harry.

 

“What's wrong?” Harry whispered, a worried expression marring his face.

 

“I'm sure it's nothing” The professor mumbled, his eyes saying otherwise, as they darted toward the open door. He felt a surge of panic rush through his heart. Did he even lock the door? The more he thought about it, the more he realised he perhaps didn't. Something he never forgot to do. His mind was not as focused as it should have been lately, he would be the first to admit that.  And now it sounded like someone was in his chambers. He prayed it wasn't a certain blonde haired individual. Then again, there was a lot of people he hoped it wouldn't be. He sunk down in the bath, taking Harry with him as he contemplated getting out. At least that way, whoever it was, wouldn't find Harry in his bath. That would raise far too many questions.

 

“Severus” a familiar voice called out, appearing around the corner before his eyes began searching the room.

 

Snape froze, recognizing the voice instantly. Remus. Well, it could be worse. It could have been Dumbledore.

 

The professor cringed at the thought.

 

“There you are” Remus began, sounding almost relieved at finding the man, before stepping towards him.

 

Snape let out a slight gasp, wondering why the werewolf kept coming closer, when it was so obvious he was in the bath…

 

The expression on Remus’s face went from relief, to curious, before heading towards the domain of abhorred, as his eyes fell on Harry.

 

Snape had prayed the werewolf wouldn't notice, but it was a tall order. The professor only suddenly registering that he still held Harry in his arms, his lips still only inches from the boy’s. He was far too close to Harry to pass it off as anything other than what it blatantly looked like.

 

“W-what going on here?” Remus stumbled, even though it was rather obvious what was going on

 

“R-Remus” Snape was at a loss for words, probably the first time in his life as his eyes locked with the werewolf. The professor instinctively moved away from Harry, as if trying to distance himself from the consequences that he knew were coming.

“What are you doing here?” Snape murmured, his words barely above a whisper as he watched the man step dangerously close.

“I could ask you why your having a bath with my best friend’s son? Not to mention a student at Hogwarts?! A student that you yourself teach!” Remus was losing his cool as he stopped by the edge of the bath.

Snape cringed at the werewolf’s words, he knew he was right, but he hadn’t actually done anything with Harry.

Yet.

Of course, there was no point arguing that fact because who would believe him?

“It’s not what it looks like” Snape began, cringing at his own words.

“I think it’s exactly what it looks like” Remus shook, taking a sharp breath before continuing.

“Your naked, in a bath, with a student. Would you do this with any of your other students Severus?”

They both knew the answer was no.

“Because I certainly wouldn’t be doing what your doing” the werewolf shook his head, as if doing so would strengthen his resolve.

Harry sat there, cringing at every word that left Remus’s lips. He felt sorry for Snape, not to mention, partially responsible. After all, if he wasn’t here, none of this would be happening. He knew Remus was only trying to protect him but he didn’t understand. He didn’t get what it felt like to be raped, and then find someone who can relate. They both shared the same experiences, they didn’t need words to communicate. Their cohesion was something that transcended everything that ever held any value in their lives.

If Harry tried putting it into words, he would never be able too. His attachment to this man had only grown, until, like now, he could hardly go a day without seeing him.

“Enough Remus!” Harry shouted, a little too loudly, the words leaving his lips before he was ready. A silence fell over the three as they all took turns glancing at one another.

“It’s okay, I know your only trying to protect me, but its fine. I have agreed to be here, and I want to be here.”

“You say that now, Harry, what about in a few years time? When you look back on this and cringe? You’ll wonder what the hell you were thinking”

“I won’t regret this” Harry’s resolve was strong, his teeth clenched as he forced the words out in anger.

“We’ll see Harry, but your too young for this, and you should know that Severus!” Remus’s gaze turned back to the potions professor.

“Your condemning him to a life he may not enjoy, he can’t afford to limit his options!”

“Did it ever occur to you Remus, that Harry and I might actually like each other” Snape seethed, his eyes narrowing as the werewolf began to get under his skin.

“That doesn’t matter, Harry needs to go out there, experience things before settling down with someone, especially someone like you”

“What do you mean someone like me?” Snape bit back, wanting so much to stand up and have a duel with the werewolf, but considering his current naked state, it was perhaps not a good idea.     

“Your 20 years Harry’s senior, you have a reputation as the greasy git and a death eater not to mention. Have you told Harry that by the way? About your past? As Lord Voldemort’s servant?”

The silence was answer enough, the truth is, Snape didn’t even know where to begin to tell Harry about the other side of himself, the side he was most ashamed of.

Snape turned to look at the young wizard, he so desperately wanted to see what the boy’s eyes said now, but he was afraid. He drew his eyes up, battling with himself before finally connecting with the young wizards.  


	31. Endlessness

“Is that true Severus?” Harry’s voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes searching Snape’s, as if doing so would reveal the truth.

Snape stalled. He couldn’t find the right words to even start explaining. Not that he could explain the whole truth to Harry, no matter how much he trusted the boy.

“There’s a lot more to it than that” the professor forced the words from his lips, tearing his gaze away from the boy.

“W-what do you mean?” Harry stuttered, the desperation seeping into his voice becoming apparent, his desire to learn the truth growing.

“It’s true, I did use to be a death eater” Snape admitted, his words reminding him of his own disappointment in himself.

“ _Used_ to?” Harry raised his eyebrow at the man, hesitation seeped into his voice as he strived to find the answer he was so desperately searching for. Yet at the same time, dreading it.

“So you’re not anymore?” Harry mumbled, hoping desperately that the answer would be no. He cared too much for Snape for him to be at the knees of the dark lords whims.

 “No” Snape closed his eyes as the words left his lips.

“I’m glad” the young wizard smiled, unable to summon the right words as his eyes fell over the professor’s face. He took in every wrinkle, every imperfection, every aspect of which was quintessentially Snape. What other people considered unattractive, only made him want the man more.

“But can you really believe him, Harry? Once a death eater, always a death eater” Remus refused to take his gaze off of the young wizard, his eyes penetrating straight through Harry’s defences.

“Of course” the younger wizard’s words came out stronger than he intended as he turned to face Snape’s accuser.

“Why shouldn’t I? Severus has never lied to me, he has been nothing but kind” Harry stated truthfully before feeling Snape’s eyes fall on him.

“Harry, I think it best you return to your dormitory” Remus stated, his words imbuing a sense of finality as he gave Harry a stern look. Harry felt his body crumble under the weight of the man’s stare, taking him straight back to number four privet drive.

The young wizard had the sudden urgency to leave, he had to escape this intense gaze, yet at the same time, didn’t want to stand before the man in such a vulnerable state.

As if reading his mind, Remus tossed the boy a towel. Harry caught it, narrowly avoiding the water before slowly rising to his feet. He wanted to kiss Snape goodnight, or at least say the words, but all he could manage was a glance at the man. A glance that he hoped Snape would recognise in its entirety.   

Harry wrapped the towel around himself before stepping out of the bath. He knelt down to collect his clothes in his fingers before turning to give his professor one last glance. Snape offered Harry a sympathetic smile as he watched the boy leave.

 

XOXOXOX

 

 

Harry laid in his bed, struggling to entice sleep to pay him a visit. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind succumbed to the memory of this evening. He cringed as the memory of Remus invading his bath with Snape penetrated his mind.

Poor Snape, he was probably stuck down in the dungeons arguing it out with the werewolf.

Harry shuddered at the thought of Remus, trying his best to stop his mind from going back into the dark recesses of his mind.

No. Not his uncle. Remus wasn’t his uncle. They weren’t the same. They were different. Harry bit down hard as another memory seeped into his mind.

No.

He mustn’t allow it in. Harry struggled as he tried to direct his thought toward some thing else. Anything else.

It was no use as the young wizard’s mind gave way, the flood gate breaking as his nightmares swallowed his mind.

Harry’s mind took him back to a time that he knew was going to tear his heart apart.

He closed his eyes, realising there was some things you just couldn’t escape from.

_“Go get me some ice cream boy!” Vernon barked at the boy from his couch in front of the TV._

_“Yes uncle Vernon” Harry complied as he scooped the remaining crumbs off the bench, catching them in his hands._

_Harry strode to the rubbish bin, brushing the crumbs into it before heading towards the freezer._

_He took the ice cream out before scooping it into a bowl. He felt aunt Petunia’s eyes on him as he did so, making sure he didn’t sneak a bit for himself, no doubt._

_Harry wanted to roll his eyes at the whole situation, the situation more commonly referred to as his home life._

_The young wizard headed toward the living room before presenting the man with what he asked for._

_“What’s this boy!?” I didn’t want it in a bowl! I wanted it in a cone!” Vernon demanded, waving his hand disapprovingly at the boy, knocking the bowl from Harry’s fingers in the process._

_Harry watched in horror as the bowl tumbled towards the ground, the ice cream sliding out before colliding with the floor. The young wizard felt his heart pound as his body braced for the next assault._

_“Now look what you’ve done boy!” Vernon growled before rising from his seat. Harry instinctively stepped back, cowering as his uncle towered over him._

_“Go to your room now boy!” Vernon’s body was shaking with rage, Harry’s with fear as he obeyed the command, too afraid to do otherwise. He knew he was in for it now as he climbed the stairs, preparing for his execution._

_Harry stood in his room, his body trembling against his will as he heard Vernon’s footsteps grow louder and louder._

_Harry bit down hard as he tried to stop his body from shuddering, he didn’t want to display fear in front of the man, but it was so hard not to. He watched in horror as the shadow grew in his door way. He hated this, he really did. But he was forced to consign himself to it. To accept this fate the gods had laid out for him._

_Harry’s eyes darted to the floor, wanting so much to avoid the gaze of the his uncle, and everything that went with it. There was no running away from this as Vernon grasped Harry by the neck, tossing him onto the bed. The young wizard closed his eyes, bracing his body for the imminent impact that he knew was coming, as his head collided with the wall. The taste of blood consumed his mouth as he dared to pry his eyes open. Harry felt his trousers torn from his body, he was sure his uncle had ripped them in the process, his lower half laying exposed to the man._

_“This is the last straw boy! You hear me!” Vernon growled as he tore the boy’s shirt off before flipping him over. Harry’s vision was still out of focus as he tried blinking furiously. Although, he didn’t know why he bothered, there was nothing in this moment in time that he wished would remain imbedded in his mind._

_Harry cried out as Vernon forced his cock into his nephew’s entrance, tearing the boy as blood began to dribble from his opening. Harry was all too familiar with this sensation and all the feelings that went with it, but it never got any easier as a trail of warm blood made its way down his thigh._

_The young wizard tried to silence his whimpers as his uncle ploughed into him repeatedly and unrelentingly._

_It will be over soon, Harry kept telling himself as his uncle’s moans filled his ears. Harry cringed before feeling a warm fluid flood his insides._

_Harry bit down hard as the man withdrew from his body._

_“Look at the mess you’ve made boy!” Vernon huffed as he held his blood soaked, now limp cock him fingers._

_Harry’s body shook uncontrollably as his uncle’s fluid began to seep out if his opening, stinging his entrance._

_“I said look boy!” Vernon demanded the young wizards attention, fear seared through Harry as he turned to face his uncle. His eyes were directed south, before landing on the thing that had just invaded his body._

_“What are you going to do about it?” Vernon shook violently with rage before grasping the boy by the hair, dragging him closer to his member._

_Harry still felt dazed as he tried to comprehend what was about to happen, although, he already had a fair idea as he felt the limp cock forced against his lips._

_“Open your mouth boy!” Vernon demanded before pinching the boys nose closed with his fingers. Harry’s life was in the balance, he knew he couldn’t hold out for long without the much depended on oxygen._

_Harry flinched as he tasted more of his own blood in his mouth, along with traces of his uncle’s semen._

_“Now suck boy!” Vernon yelled before raising his hand in preparation to slap the boy._

Harry’s eyes opened with a jolt, he was back at Hogwarts. He was safe. He’d managed to escape the sordid memory and survived.

He desperately needed dreamless sleep potion. He didn’t want to close his eyes for longer than a few seconds, in fear of the memory returning. The young wizard turned over, trying to stop the tears from welling up inside him, but it was no use. He felt the hot streams run across his face, before meeting their fate on the pillow.

 

XOXOXOX

 

“What the hell are you thinking Severus!” Remus continued their earlier argument, this time in the absence of Harry. Snape felt weakened without his shield, but he refused to let it show, after all, he had to carry on regardless.

“I didn’t even think you capable of such things!” Remus shook his head before turning away from the professor.

Snape raised an eyebrow, wondering what exactly Mr Lupin meant by those words.

“May we continue this _discussion_ in my living room?” Snape stated, feeling decidedly vulnerable in his current state.  

Remus eyed him sceptically before realising he was right.

“Very well”.


	32. Of Wizards and Werewolves

Snape dreaded the war of words that he knew was coming. He closed his eyes, sighing as he stepped into his lounge. Remus had already chosen a seat to occupy, his eyes down turned, as if contemplating the most appropriate words to summon. 

It had been a long time since Snape had felt this degree of tension in a room, it was almost as bad as a death eater meeting. Almost.

  
  


XOXOXOXOX

  
  


Harry needed to see Snape, he couldn't stand being back in his dormitory, left alone to his thoughts. Thoughts he didn't wish relive again and again, like reruns of the worst show in history. 

He laid on his stomach, his fingers gripping the pillow under him as his gaze fell on the window. The moonlight filtered through the glass, flooding the room as everyone around him slept. He needed that too, class was already going to be grueling enough as it was. If only his mind would allow it to come and carry him away. 

Harry closed his eyes, trying to stop his heart from pounding. Surely the ensuing argument between Severus and Remus would be over by now? But what happened? What was the outcome? Were they both even still alive? He'd never seen Remus even close to that angry before. 

Wait. 

Harry's eyes bolted open. The moonlight reminding him of a very sobering fact. Remus was, after all, a werewolf. 

The young wizard dived from his bed, making his way for the window before searching the night sky. 

It was just as he had expected, the night sky was illuminated by a full moon. Harry gasped as he ran back to his bed.

Where was his wand? He had to find it, and now! The young wizard rummaged through his stuff, how could he lose something he only just had? He began to panic, images of Snape going one on one with a werewolf began seeping into his brain, his search for the allusive item becoming more desperate. 

“What the hell are you doing man?” Ron's voice mumbled through the darkness, clearly irritated by the disturbance his friend was creating. 

“I can't talk now Ron” Harry cut the red haired wizard off, feeling instantly guilty but refusing to forego his search.

“You never have time for me any more, I thought we were supposed to be best friends?” the red-haired wizard whined before sitting up on his bed. 

“We are” Harry muttered, his voice lacking it's usual sincerity as he finally found what he was looking for. 

“Then let me come with you!” 

“I can't” 

“Why not?” 

“It's too dangerous”

“But that's never stopped us before” Ron whined before climbing to his feet.  

Harry hesitated, realizing he was on the losing side of the argument.

“I'm coming with you!” Ron demanded, collecting his wand in his fingers before shoving his shoes on at an alarming rate. 

The tone in his friends voice told Harry that there was no point in quarreling with his best friend.  

“Alright, come on then”

 

XOXOXOXOXOX

  
  


Snape took his usual seat, before deciding to summon a pot of tea, although, at this point, he doubted he would be able to stomach even his favourite beverage. Perhaps the gesture was more to occupy his hands, a vain attempt to calm his nerves. He wished he didn't have to have this conversation tonight, but he knew that would only delay the inevitable. 

He shook his head, trying to focus his thoughts before turning to the werewolf. 

“I have to be honest with you Severus, I have no idea what to say” Remus confessed, his eyes dancing off every surface, except the man before him. 

“Then allow me” Snape began, refusing to feel like a man on trial. 

“Very well” Remus stated, the calmness in his voice taking Snape by surprise. 

“First of all, you must understand, I care deeply for Harry. Not only because he's Lily's son. I feel can share things with him that I haven't been able to share with anyone else. He understands everything, without me having to explain any of it”

Remus nodded, turning his gaze to the ground, as if processing the professors words into his mind. 

“Also, I believe Harry needs this relationship also. I know it is difficult for you to understand” Snape sighed, collecting the teapot in his fingers, before pouring it into his cup. There was still so much he wanted to say, but couldn't summon the right words to win the werewolf over. 

A silence fell between them, allowing the birth of an awkward atmosphere to grow between them. 

“I fear you may be right” Remus finally sighed, evidence of defeat seeping through his lips as he turned to face the professor once more. 

“I just don't want Harry to be swayed into something he may later regret” 

“I understand what you must be thinking Remus, but please understand, it's very difficult to relate to someone that hasn’t experienced the events that Harry and I have been through. One doesn’t realise how much they rely on the other, until faced with the prospect of them not being in that individuals life. You connect on a level entirely your own” Snape whispered, finding it difficult to express the message he so desperately wanted to project. 

“I understand what you are tr-” Remus froze, his words cut short as his body seized up. 

“What is it Remus?” the professor sat bolt upright in his seat, eyeing the man carefully. 

Surely not. 

Remus began to shake, he was losing control of his body, his awareness and everything that went along with it. How had he forgotten? The full moon was expected tonight, and judging by what was happening to the man’s body, it was here. 

Snape eyes widened, he knew what was happening, he'd seen it too many times before. He didn't have time to waste, he had to summon a vile of wolfsbane and fast!

The professor whisked his wand from the pocket of his robes. 

“Accio Wolfsbane” Snape called out, watching as a vial flew from his stores, before landing in his hand.

Perfect.

He had been experimenting with this new recipe, perhaps now was an opportune time to test it. If he was correct, this should be able to stop the transformation in it's tracks.

 

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

  
  


Harry made his way down the Gryffindor tower, each step an obstacle in the darkness before finally reaching the bottom. 

The young wizard feared it may be too late. Why hadn't he made the connection earlier? He mentally berated himself as he made his way down the cold castle hallway. 

“So where exactly are we going?” Ron mumbled, trying to thrust himself awake. 

“To save a certain professor” Harry began, hoping this answer would satisfy his best friend. 

“A professor? Which one would need our help? And how do you know they are in trouble?” Ron made no attempt to hide the confusion plastered all over his face. He was fortunate that the hallway was shrouded in darkness. 

“Snape. And I just know” Harry tried to disguise the smirk on his lips, wishing he could bare witness to the redhead’s expression. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this story
> 
> I'd love to know what you think about it :)


End file.
